NOW I look it up

I got a small surprise last night so I decided to google the issue today. Apparently, chemo throws you into menopause and tamoxifen has NOTHING to do with causing you to go into menopause. So, because of my age, my body might actually be in menopause and the tamoxifen is just causing the hot flashes. REALLY?? I have to put up with this shit for 5 years? I have another what, 3.5 years to go? REALLY? No wonder the chemo pharmacist said lots of women stop taking it. HOLY CRAP! That is a horse of a differant color. REALLY?

Not sleeping

As I lay in bed, tossing and turning last night, I began to think about the article I had read that said the hot flashes stop when your body stops producing estrogen. So, if I am in chemically induced menopause and my body has not gone through actual menopause, this could go on for YEEEAAAARRRRSSS! Seriously, the meds are a 5 year deal and then I have to hope like hell my body goes ahead and does the real menopause before the end of the 5 year period. I talked to the pharmacist and the oncologist and they both stated they were concerned that I finish the full 5 years of hormone therapy. They both stated that the vast majority of women tend to quit before the end of the 5 years because they cannot take the side effects. NO SHIT! I have not been sleeping well for weeks and while the acupuncture helps take the edge off, it is not working as well as it used to. I have tried going back to the sleeping meds now and then, but they no longer seem to work.

I am just trying to hang in there......by a thread! This too shall pass like a kidney stone.