Is it wrong?

I spent some time with mom and dad this weekend and during a discussion about mom's plans for surgery, it came out that the doctor who performed the biopsy told her it was so small he may have gotten the entire thing out while performing the biopsy. So, my thought is...if it was that small, and most of it is likely gone, if not all...at her age, should she even bother to have anything other then a lumpectomy? Apparently the doctors also informed her that her type of breast cancer was not the aggressive hereditary type, but may be more a function of age. With what I went through with my surgeries, my question is, is it wrong to possibly tell her to think about just letting it go???

The Biopsy Part 1, the actual procedure

I chose to go to the biopsy alone and then planned to go to work afterwards. Remember, we already knew it was cancer, but this would be the defining moment when we would finally find out how bad it was. Because it was a "needle biopsy" I figured it would not be as invasive as a lumpectomy and therefore I could return to work quickly.

They actually gave me two gowns this time. One opened in the front and the top one opened in the back. They put you on a table with a huge hole in the middle and have you put the "bad" boob into the hole. Because the hole is rather large, it is like leaning over a manhole cover and the edge of the hole digs into your ribs. No matter how much I shifted, it was never going to be "comfortable" so I finally convinced them to just start the damned thing so it would be over more quickly. I refused to let them show me the needle aparatus. REALLY? Does anyone really want to see it?

The boob is then placed into a smasher that is just like the one that they use for mammograms. I was told to keep my left side still. They then hoisted me up like a car and worked on me from below. The staff was great in that they talked me through everything and let me know ahead of time what the various noises, etc. were. The outside of the breast is then numbed with novicaine, yes, just like at the dentist. The "needle" cannot be that tiny because they had to cut into me to get the thing in. Once it is in, sometime during the procedure they shoot another shot of novicaine into the hole.

The procedure is very unpleasant and very uncomfortable. I could "feel" the drilling and it was not a happy thing. My entire right side of my body was so tensed up that it still bothers me a week later. My right shoulder is the bad one and by the time the novicaine wore off at 4pm ish, I didn't know which hurt worse, the left tit or the right side of my body.

Lunch and the Reality Bites

After spending allllllllllllllllllll morning at Loyola, determining for myself that it was cancer, and then having the radiologist agree that the lymph nodes needed to be viewed on the ultrasound, Mom and I decided that lunch was in order. Because the doctor had indicated that they wanted me in for a biopsy ASAP, we chose to eat close to the hospital. Driving through Forest Park, we found a plethora of dining choices along Madison Ave. Mom and I were both pleased to find a sister restaurant to our favorite, La Sorella, and were thrilled to find parking just across the street.

Lunch was the first good food I had been able to get down in a very long time (more on the neausea later) and it tasted good going down. Just as our food arrived, Mom looked at me and declared, "Crap! I forgot to feed the meter." I grabbed my jacket, phone (the hospital could call at any second) and my wallet and went running out into the street. JUST as I crossed the street, the parking police had pulled behind the car and the officer was about to write me a ticket for an expired meter. While Mom and I had both noticed the meter, neither of us actually went to feed it. LOL. Because the officer didn't seem to want to back down, I informed him that I had pretty much just been diagnosed with breast cancer and we had stopped for lunch and forgot to feed the meter. He immediately expressed his sorrow for me and agreed the last thing I needed was a parking ticket.

Like I said, lunch was actually very good and I ate almost all of it. During lunch I tried to express my fears and concerns and to let Mom know that it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that I actually had breast cancer and that I needed to start making plans. Mom, like everyone else, kept saying, "It might be nothing, you don't know until they know for sure." What I wanted to scream, but actually calmly stated, was that "nothing" does not grow tendrils nor potentially invade your lymph nodes. I had to start making plans for the worst and hope for the best. Or did I?