I am looking forward to seeing the family this weekend! My Michael is coming up from Texas, by means of a very wonderful sister Amy, and I am thrilled to see him. After the whole shebang in March, it will be nice to just be able to sit and talk things out. Ian has "other plans", which translates into Ian is still not talking to me. Once again I regret my decision to let the boys go to Japan, but I guess I was tired of fighting with them and always being the bad guy. I blame no one but myself for being weak. I truly believe they would have been better off staying in Naperville. Oh well, spilt milk.
I am looking forward to a start date for radiation because a start date means a finish date! Five more weeks plus the waiting period!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Last dose, last dose, last dose!!!
I finished my last dose of chemo on Thursday and I must say I am relieved. The feet and hands are numb and tingly (like you walked all day and your feet are sore), but other then the general overall fatigue, I feel pretty good. I spoke to the doctor about recovery times and Dr. B said I should be back to eating raw fruits and veggies in as little as 2-3 weeks. I just have to buy things I can wash in soap and water for a while, which means no lettuce or other hard to really wash items. I am hoping to be back on track before the fresh cherries are gone for the season! It might take 2-4 months for the hair to come back but that is the least of my concerns.
Still no word on sleeping arrangements for radiation, but it is only 5 weeks and hell, I lasted 8 weeks in boot camp! I am scheduled for a mammogram, blood work-up and a follow on with Dr. B on July 15. Hopefully, I will be back to fruits and veggies and the mammo should be clear!
Still no word on sleeping arrangements for radiation, but it is only 5 weeks and hell, I lasted 8 weeks in boot camp! I am scheduled for a mammogram, blood work-up and a follow on with Dr. B on July 15. Hopefully, I will be back to fruits and veggies and the mammo should be clear!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Overwhelmed...
This weekend I had a pity party for one. Friday night it poured and the wind knocked down half of the tree in front of the house. Between the storm and the city outside cutting the trees in the road up to let the fire trucks pass, it was a dark and stormy night. Saturday night, as I was getting ready to go to bed at 9:30, I smelled what I thought to be something burning on the porch. When I went outside to check it out, I came back in to discover the power was out. Going outside, it was obvious that the power was out for blocks. So, it was a dark and not stormy night but I find it difficult to sleep without my fan going so it was another rough evening.
For those who don't know, my desktop computer crashed. I was thrilled I had the laptop for back-up, but the laptop does not want to acknowledge the existence of the internet. I want to say the wi fi card is missing(?) and every time I try to boot up the wi fi, the system reboots. I tried plugging it into the external modem so it could use my broadband connection, but it seems my laptop is only acknowledging the existence of wi fi and dial-up. So, I am at the library typing this to try and stay in touch.
It also seems that the paperwork I sent to Cleveland, which I was told I would need to send after waiting on hold forever to speak to a live person, to start my share of Cliff's retirement, was not the correct paperwork so that could now take months to work out.
This week is my last dose of chemo and I am planning to spend it alone. I have tolerated the last few doses of the new chemo and after the last weekend, I don't know that I am up to hosting "help" for the weekend....LOL
About 4 weeks after my last dose, I have to start radiation therapy. This involves going to the VA 5 days a week for 5 weeks. I have no car and the trip is about 2-2.5 hours each way on public transportation. I am supposed to be able to check into the nursing home on the grounds but was recently informed that I might not qualify.
My lease is up on Sept. 1 and unless I can find another roommate, I have to move as I cannot afford the place on my own. The thought of moving right after I finish all my therapy is in and of itself overwhelming.
Add up the jobless situation, chemo, radiation, retirement, no car, broke and probably having to pack and move very soon, and you can see where I might feel a bit overwhelmed. It seems that everything I could do to help, i.e. job hunt, apartment hunt, etc., could be done online, but it is hard to do it in the 60 minutes a day I have at the public library.
For those who don't know, my desktop computer crashed. I was thrilled I had the laptop for back-up, but the laptop does not want to acknowledge the existence of the internet. I want to say the wi fi card is missing(?) and every time I try to boot up the wi fi, the system reboots. I tried plugging it into the external modem so it could use my broadband connection, but it seems my laptop is only acknowledging the existence of wi fi and dial-up. So, I am at the library typing this to try and stay in touch.
It also seems that the paperwork I sent to Cleveland, which I was told I would need to send after waiting on hold forever to speak to a live person, to start my share of Cliff's retirement, was not the correct paperwork so that could now take months to work out.
This week is my last dose of chemo and I am planning to spend it alone. I have tolerated the last few doses of the new chemo and after the last weekend, I don't know that I am up to hosting "help" for the weekend....LOL
About 4 weeks after my last dose, I have to start radiation therapy. This involves going to the VA 5 days a week for 5 weeks. I have no car and the trip is about 2-2.5 hours each way on public transportation. I am supposed to be able to check into the nursing home on the grounds but was recently informed that I might not qualify.
My lease is up on Sept. 1 and unless I can find another roommate, I have to move as I cannot afford the place on my own. The thought of moving right after I finish all my therapy is in and of itself overwhelming.
Add up the jobless situation, chemo, radiation, retirement, no car, broke and probably having to pack and move very soon, and you can see where I might feel a bit overwhelmed. It seems that everything I could do to help, i.e. job hunt, apartment hunt, etc., could be done online, but it is hard to do it in the 60 minutes a day I have at the public library.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
It never rains...
Well, where to start? Tim from England spent the weekend and dragged me out for a walk or two. We managed to walk from Water Tower Place to Grant Park for Blues Fest and my legs are still groaning. He spent hours online to clean off my computer only to have the harddrive fail minutes before we had to leave for the airport. My laptop refuses to acknowledge the Internet exists, so I am typing this at the public library!
The doc was worried about the fact I was coughing up small bits of brown and yellow stuff so there was a chest xray yesterday. So far, no word that anything was found. Also, my liver function tests were off so I have to repeat my blood work on Friday when I go back to meet the new radiologist.
So, if anyone wants to talk, gotta call me!
The doc was worried about the fact I was coughing up small bits of brown and yellow stuff so there was a chest xray yesterday. So far, no word that anything was found. Also, my liver function tests were off so I have to repeat my blood work on Friday when I go back to meet the new radiologist.
So, if anyone wants to talk, gotta call me!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
An Update
Dr. B found me a new radiologist so I no longer have to see Dr. McCreepy. I have an appointment on June 19 with the new guy and we shall just have to wait and see. Another new development is that the VA has a nursing home on the grounds and for the 5 weeks I have to do radiation (and the consensus of ALL the docs and nurses is that radiation is a MUST) I can possibly stay in the nursing home on the grounds. Miss Kitty will have to spend 5 weeks at Camp Grandma where she will be forced to watch the wall-to-wall live nature show 7 days a week.....LOL
The up side is that I won't have to commute 2.5 hours each way every single day, but the down side is that for 5 weeks I will spend 5 days a week in a nursing home. The one bright spot is, being a vet with tits means a private room, more likely then not.
The up side is that I won't have to commute 2.5 hours each way every single day, but the down side is that for 5 weeks I will spend 5 days a week in a nursing home. The one bright spot is, being a vet with tits means a private room, more likely then not.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Dr. McCreepy & The wound
Totally unrelated topics, but I was posting, so hey, deal with it!
For anyone unfamiliar, I call the radiologist Dr. McCreepy. This man gives me the total heebie jeebies and creeps me out to no end. He seems obsessed with seeing and feeling my tits, both before and after surgery. He has never given me the break down of why I should or should not do radiation and never explained to me why I needed radiation after I had elected to do chemo. Every time I see the guy I walk away feeling like I need a shower. Amy can attest, the guy is a total ewwwww fest. It has nothing to do with the fact the guy is in a wheel chair, but the fact he seems to rarely wash his hands makes it worse.
After I told Dr. B (my oncologist) that I didn't see the need for radiation, she set me up with yet another consult with the radiologist. When I explained my theory about the fact that the site of the lump had been further cleaned out with the reduction surgery and therefore I saw no need to radiate that non-exist ant site, he simply said I was 25% more likely to get breast cancer again if we didn't radiate. I told him I was not up to another 5 weeks of radiation so my answer was no. He asked to exam me to check my lungs and heart and proceeded to stick his stethoscope under my bra. When he told me to loosen up my bra so he could see my breasts and, "see what he was going to be working with," I jumped off the table and told him my answer was no to radiation so there was no need to see my tits.
I had a follow-up appointment with Dr. B yesterday and informed her that if my choice was to have radiation with Dr. McCreepy or not have it at all, I would rather do without then go back. I explained the radiologist made me VERY uncomfortable, without going into details, and she said she would work on getting me a different doctor. The problem at the VA hospital is that they almost never get a case of breast cancer so there are few options for "experienced" docs. My guess is McCreepy has no real experience either and isn't getting any at home!
While they were unpacking and repacking the wound on my chest from the removal of the port, the nurse explained that because of the chemo, it may take months and months to heal. That means months and months of potentially no showers......REALLY??!!
For anyone unfamiliar, I call the radiologist Dr. McCreepy. This man gives me the total heebie jeebies and creeps me out to no end. He seems obsessed with seeing and feeling my tits, both before and after surgery. He has never given me the break down of why I should or should not do radiation and never explained to me why I needed radiation after I had elected to do chemo. Every time I see the guy I walk away feeling like I need a shower. Amy can attest, the guy is a total ewwwww fest. It has nothing to do with the fact the guy is in a wheel chair, but the fact he seems to rarely wash his hands makes it worse.
After I told Dr. B (my oncologist) that I didn't see the need for radiation, she set me up with yet another consult with the radiologist. When I explained my theory about the fact that the site of the lump had been further cleaned out with the reduction surgery and therefore I saw no need to radiate that non-exist ant site, he simply said I was 25% more likely to get breast cancer again if we didn't radiate. I told him I was not up to another 5 weeks of radiation so my answer was no. He asked to exam me to check my lungs and heart and proceeded to stick his stethoscope under my bra. When he told me to loosen up my bra so he could see my breasts and, "see what he was going to be working with," I jumped off the table and told him my answer was no to radiation so there was no need to see my tits.
I had a follow-up appointment with Dr. B yesterday and informed her that if my choice was to have radiation with Dr. McCreepy or not have it at all, I would rather do without then go back. I explained the radiologist made me VERY uncomfortable, without going into details, and she said she would work on getting me a different doctor. The problem at the VA hospital is that they almost never get a case of breast cancer so there are few options for "experienced" docs. My guess is McCreepy has no real experience either and isn't getting any at home!
While they were unpacking and repacking the wound on my chest from the removal of the port, the nurse explained that because of the chemo, it may take months and months to heal. That means months and months of potentially no showers......REALLY??!!
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