For those of you in the know, the life of a contract temp attorney work is crazy at best. Part of the appeal is that you are working at different places, so if you find a place you don't like, you can rest assured that eventually you will move and be in a new place. The HUGE downside is the lack of job security or "normality" in your life. It is hard to get into a real "routine" if there is nothing really routine about your life. But, it is what I do, not by choice, and it is how I live.
One of the dark secrets about this work is the way that we are often treated in the workplace. We generally work at one of two places. We either work at the law firm itself, or in a space provided us by the temp agency. There are good and bad places to work. Law firms can tend to treat us as "mere temps" and ask that we not mingle with their real lawyers or use their facilities. Temp agencies tend to provide basics, like access to a kitchen and disposable plates, napkins, etc.
I have been treated like a guest at some of the best law firms in town and I have been treated like an illegitimate step-child by some of the almost best firms in town. The temp agencies tend to treat us as chattel, but are more likely to bring us bagels and donuts as an incentive to keep working longer hours. After all, the temp agencies only get paid if we are at our desks billing. It is a rare occurrence when a temp agency treats you as the step-child. The notion of working at a place with a kitchen but not being allowed to use it, or having to rinse the coffee pot in the bathroom if we want to make coffee is something I am not used to. Some days we are chattel, some days we are fellow employees, and some days we are illegitimate red-headed step-children produced by a bastard heir.
It is hard enough working next to someone who spends all day surfing the net and very little time "working", but when I have to take an elevator to the lobby to get coffee, it seems a bit harder to want to work.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Farting and Sweating
I have now officially attended two actual yoga classes. They do NOT consider Wii yoga as real yoga, but considering the Wii trainer actually shows me how to do the pose and the real yoga instructors have ignored me, I am liking the Wii even more.
First of all, all that stretching and bending seems to stretch out the intestines as well but I seem to be the only person in class with farting issues. I always said the cancer gave me gas, and yoga is letting me express myself.
The other thing about yoga is that "hot" and "yoga" in the same sentence are redundant. When I attended my first class, it was not supposed to be a "hot" yoga class (one in which the room temp. is cranked to 104) but because there had been a "hot" yoga class right before ours, it was pretty warm. My second class was a more advanced class and I found out AFTER I started it that it was a "hot" class. I was sweating before I even moved. Needless to say, I only made it about half way through class before surrendering myself to become one with my yoga mat.
It was NOT a bad investment to buy "yoga clothes". You really do want something that is form fitting so it doesn't get in the way when you are trying to scratch your back with your toenails.
My ability to make it to a class is more hampered by the locations of the classes then by my lack of enthusiasm. I got lost one night this week and was too late to make the class. I comforted myself with a slice or two of pizza at my favorite brick oven pizza place. I have signed up for a class in my hood so that might help the making it to class issue.
First of all, all that stretching and bending seems to stretch out the intestines as well but I seem to be the only person in class with farting issues. I always said the cancer gave me gas, and yoga is letting me express myself.
The other thing about yoga is that "hot" and "yoga" in the same sentence are redundant. When I attended my first class, it was not supposed to be a "hot" yoga class (one in which the room temp. is cranked to 104) but because there had been a "hot" yoga class right before ours, it was pretty warm. My second class was a more advanced class and I found out AFTER I started it that it was a "hot" class. I was sweating before I even moved. Needless to say, I only made it about half way through class before surrendering myself to become one with my yoga mat.
It was NOT a bad investment to buy "yoga clothes". You really do want something that is form fitting so it doesn't get in the way when you are trying to scratch your back with your toenails.
My ability to make it to a class is more hampered by the locations of the classes then by my lack of enthusiasm. I got lost one night this week and was too late to make the class. I comforted myself with a slice or two of pizza at my favorite brick oven pizza place. I have signed up for a class in my hood so that might help the making it to class issue.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Rahm and stuff
Still haven't been able to find a reasonably priced memory foam mattress. The issue is that I need a full sized mattress. Apparently they tend to only make them in queen and king. People sleeping alone don't need to be comfortable I guess. I sleep with my cat....does that count?? If my room would fit a queen, I would have kept my old bed and this would be a non issue.
I went ahead and cancelled my chemistry.com and match.com accounts. The last time I participated on the sites I was up for 3 months with few to no responses. I have decided to cut my losses this time and quit after only 1 month. The ONLY person to respond in a month was the one guy who I have known for a few years, both before and after the breast cancer, and while he tells me he finds me attractive and likes me, he won't ask me out. I will take that as a clue. This doesn't mean I am now leaning towards going on a gay cruise. I would like to think that maybe someone might get drunk enough on a cruise to ask me out, and I do not care for women as partners.
My Wii keeps asking me about Michael. It wants to know how he is doing and yells at me for not watching his posture. It keeps telling me I am obese and when I gained a pound last week it made my avatar even fatter. I started real yoga and signed up for an indoor fitness boot camp (NO BUGS) that I will start after my month of yoga. The Wii is still fun, but let's see how it likes being ignored!
Miss Kitty says mrow and has all but abandoned Dean for the cat cushion in the living room that is right next to the radiator. I guess my hot flashes are not keeping her warm enough! Speaking of that, this last round of acupuncture did not seem to work as well and I have been getting my ass kicked by the hot flashes.
Finally, for those not living in a cave, the whole Chicago mayor Rahm thing has finally hit the fan. I said ages ago I didn't think he qualified as a resident. If the facts were the same except his wife took the job as the Obama's nanny, this would be a non-issue and he would be laughed out of town. We shall see. My other prediction was that this election would be very entertaining to watch. So far, I am right on both issues :-)
I went ahead and cancelled my chemistry.com and match.com accounts. The last time I participated on the sites I was up for 3 months with few to no responses. I have decided to cut my losses this time and quit after only 1 month. The ONLY person to respond in a month was the one guy who I have known for a few years, both before and after the breast cancer, and while he tells me he finds me attractive and likes me, he won't ask me out. I will take that as a clue. This doesn't mean I am now leaning towards going on a gay cruise. I would like to think that maybe someone might get drunk enough on a cruise to ask me out, and I do not care for women as partners.
My Wii keeps asking me about Michael. It wants to know how he is doing and yells at me for not watching his posture. It keeps telling me I am obese and when I gained a pound last week it made my avatar even fatter. I started real yoga and signed up for an indoor fitness boot camp (NO BUGS) that I will start after my month of yoga. The Wii is still fun, but let's see how it likes being ignored!
Miss Kitty says mrow and has all but abandoned Dean for the cat cushion in the living room that is right next to the radiator. I guess my hot flashes are not keeping her warm enough! Speaking of that, this last round of acupuncture did not seem to work as well and I have been getting my ass kicked by the hot flashes.
Finally, for those not living in a cave, the whole Chicago mayor Rahm thing has finally hit the fan. I said ages ago I didn't think he qualified as a resident. If the facts were the same except his wife took the job as the Obama's nanny, this would be a non-issue and he would be laughed out of town. We shall see. My other prediction was that this election would be very entertaining to watch. So far, I am right on both issues :-)
Friday, January 21, 2011
My own uber dilema
It is looking more and more like our next mayor will be Rahm Emmanuel. I agree with Mr. Kass that this is a really bad idea for the city. Carol Mosely Braun is not a good choice either, ditto Chico. Mr. del Valle is the only "good" choice, but he is the least politically connected and therefore is running last.
Having my own close encounter with the Rahmster only confirmed my beliefs that he is not a nice person and will not be the fresh, unconnected infusion of new blood this city so desperately needs.
My uber dilema is whether I ride the tide and volunteer my time with the Rahmster's campaign to possibly ride the tide into a nice cushy patronage gig to save my own self, and thereby sell my soul to the devil, or do I volunteer to work on the del Valle campaign in an uphill battle? I want and need a real job at this point in my life, but I also believe that Rahm will further ruin the city. What to do?
Having my own close encounter with the Rahmster only confirmed my beliefs that he is not a nice person and will not be the fresh, unconnected infusion of new blood this city so desperately needs.
My uber dilema is whether I ride the tide and volunteer my time with the Rahmster's campaign to possibly ride the tide into a nice cushy patronage gig to save my own self, and thereby sell my soul to the devil, or do I volunteer to work on the del Valle campaign in an uphill battle? I want and need a real job at this point in my life, but I also believe that Rahm will further ruin the city. What to do?
Friday, January 14, 2011
Cutting loose the albatross
There once was a man who made my heart skip a beat every time I heard his voice. From the instant we met, I knew this was "the one". I had not even wanted to date him in the first place and had answered his blind email on AOL with trepidation. He ran very late for our first date but he had a meeting that ran over. I soon decided he was the most amazing man I had ever met. He made me feel extremely sexy, beautiful and more intelligent then I ever thought possible. He loved kids and took to my boys like a duck to water.
I mean we were talking about building a house. It was only 4 months into dating, but this was it. I now knew what love felt like. And then, for no apparent reason, and with no warning he up and disappeared from my life. He went out of town for business and said he would call back when he returned. He never called me back. His phone number was disconnected. I was beyond devastated. It took me months before I could get out of bed to do anything but work and take care of the kids. I barely took care of the kids but they were old enough to feed themselves. My world imploded.
I ran into him a year or so later and he explained that he knew he would never get married again, we were both headed in different directions and he was putting his work first. I felt better for having closeure, but it was nice to have an old friend to talk to. That was 11 or so years ago. We have kept in touch and talk maybe once a year. We always played the pretend game about possible ways to hook up and get back together, but he made no effort. I understood this would never happen, but again, he told me I deserved to be married and he was never getting married ever again in his life. Things just never worked out and the fact I told him I never wanted to get married ever again did nothing to change his mind. I did not long and pine away, but tucked away in the far recesses of my mind, there was always the spark of "what if?".
When I prepared to go to DC for the rally, I contacted him and asked if I could crash on his couch. Prior posts will let you know this did not happen, and because his adult daughter was in town, dinner or drinks didn't happen either.
I found him on Facebook a while back and sent a friend request. He never acted on it. When I mentioned this a few days again, he said it was because he wanted to talk to me before he friended me.....??????
Long story short, I called him yesterday to ask him a question and he didn't answer. I didn't bother to leave a message and took it as a sign. Sometimes we do stupid things when we are sad. I was pleasantly surprised that he bothered to call me back and felt my heart skip that same old beat. During the course of the conversation, I was informed he had married the woman he said he was no longer dating, but who reminded him of me. Kind of like a poor imitation of me. She even had red hair. My ego is now crushed, but wait, it gets better.
He went on to tell me he is not happy with his marriage choice and says he made a mistake. He implies he regrets not marrying me. I am sad, I am hurt and I am somewhat relieved. I came to realize he was my romantic albatross and we all know how that worked out for the ancient mariner. I am considering this a chance to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch. I wish him the best of luck and a happy life as I delete his contact info. Remain friends my ass!
I mean we were talking about building a house. It was only 4 months into dating, but this was it. I now knew what love felt like. And then, for no apparent reason, and with no warning he up and disappeared from my life. He went out of town for business and said he would call back when he returned. He never called me back. His phone number was disconnected. I was beyond devastated. It took me months before I could get out of bed to do anything but work and take care of the kids. I barely took care of the kids but they were old enough to feed themselves. My world imploded.
I ran into him a year or so later and he explained that he knew he would never get married again, we were both headed in different directions and he was putting his work first. I felt better for having closeure, but it was nice to have an old friend to talk to. That was 11 or so years ago. We have kept in touch and talk maybe once a year. We always played the pretend game about possible ways to hook up and get back together, but he made no effort. I understood this would never happen, but again, he told me I deserved to be married and he was never getting married ever again in his life. Things just never worked out and the fact I told him I never wanted to get married ever again did nothing to change his mind. I did not long and pine away, but tucked away in the far recesses of my mind, there was always the spark of "what if?".
When I prepared to go to DC for the rally, I contacted him and asked if I could crash on his couch. Prior posts will let you know this did not happen, and because his adult daughter was in town, dinner or drinks didn't happen either.
I found him on Facebook a while back and sent a friend request. He never acted on it. When I mentioned this a few days again, he said it was because he wanted to talk to me before he friended me.....??????
Long story short, I called him yesterday to ask him a question and he didn't answer. I didn't bother to leave a message and took it as a sign. Sometimes we do stupid things when we are sad. I was pleasantly surprised that he bothered to call me back and felt my heart skip that same old beat. During the course of the conversation, I was informed he had married the woman he said he was no longer dating, but who reminded him of me. Kind of like a poor imitation of me. She even had red hair. My ego is now crushed, but wait, it gets better.
He went on to tell me he is not happy with his marriage choice and says he made a mistake. He implies he regrets not marrying me. I am sad, I am hurt and I am somewhat relieved. I came to realize he was my romantic albatross and we all know how that worked out for the ancient mariner. I am considering this a chance to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch. I wish him the best of luck and a happy life as I delete his contact info. Remain friends my ass!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
One way or the other
I do not blame Sarah Palin for the shootings in Arizona this week, but you cannot have it both ways. You CANNOT use iconography depicting the cross hairs of a gun and claim this is "just a symbol" and is not meant to denote a suggestion of gun violence. If it was merely a symbol to point out the districts that were in need of change, an "X" can mark the spot with no extra connotations. When you choose to point a gun at someone, real or imagined, you are suggesting that you plan to use that weapon. The only use for a gun is to kill someone or something, it is not like they are multipurpose household items.
The entire country has to take a chill pill. When you use hateful words, symbols or acts to express your opinion, you are expressing hate. I disagree with almost every single Republican in this country, but the only ones I truly "hate" are Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld because I believe them to be 100% pure evil. I hate the players AND their games on that one.
When you yell "off with their heads", you are saying you want them to die and not that you would like them to wear a different sweater.....really??!???
The entire country has to take a chill pill. When you use hateful words, symbols or acts to express your opinion, you are expressing hate. I disagree with almost every single Republican in this country, but the only ones I truly "hate" are Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld because I believe them to be 100% pure evil. I hate the players AND their games on that one.
When you yell "off with their heads", you are saying you want them to die and not that you would like them to wear a different sweater.....really??!???
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Putting it out there...
Friends and I have already started to plan a big cruise for my 50th birthday in 2012, and the questions of where and with whom being the only ones open to discussion. Well, that and the issue of gay or straight. I had the time of my life on the RSVP cruise I attended, but it did NOTHING for any potential love life.
My 49th birthday is next month and I am really jonesing to go away on a cruise. I had been planning a cruise for Christmas with one or both of my boys, but due to certain, how shall we say "legal" issues encountered by a child, I had to stop planning and just stay put. So, the idea of going on a cruise is burned into my brain. Before I go any further, I KNOW I cannot "afford" to go on a cruise, but I also couldn't "afford" a lot of things in life. Technically, I could not "afford" to have kids but I did that anyways.
So, I have started looking at cruises online. If you book it shortly before it goes, they are more desperate to sell the rooms so a 7 day Carribean cruise can go for around $500 plus tax and airfare. I could likely do it for $1000. The only problem is that it is twice the price to cruise as a single. You have to pay for the full room whether you are one or two so it would cost me twice as much for the cruise itself. Most cruise lines don't like to pair you up as they would rather sell more rooms.
I am putting it out there..........anyone up for a cruise the end of February?
My 49th birthday is next month and I am really jonesing to go away on a cruise. I had been planning a cruise for Christmas with one or both of my boys, but due to certain, how shall we say "legal" issues encountered by a child, I had to stop planning and just stay put. So, the idea of going on a cruise is burned into my brain. Before I go any further, I KNOW I cannot "afford" to go on a cruise, but I also couldn't "afford" a lot of things in life. Technically, I could not "afford" to have kids but I did that anyways.
So, I have started looking at cruises online. If you book it shortly before it goes, they are more desperate to sell the rooms so a 7 day Carribean cruise can go for around $500 plus tax and airfare. I could likely do it for $1000. The only problem is that it is twice the price to cruise as a single. You have to pay for the full room whether you are one or two so it would cost me twice as much for the cruise itself. Most cruise lines don't like to pair you up as they would rather sell more rooms.
I am putting it out there..........anyone up for a cruise the end of February?
Jogging with Jesus
My son helped me set up my Wii and my Wii fit programs. As part of the setup, he created his own avatar named Drequan, a young and hip black guy, don't ask, and he set up a few other assorted avatar as well. Although I could understand the humour of having Jesus box or battle Hitler, I made him remove the Hitler. Some things are just too far over the ledge to be funny. Anywho, last night was the first chance I have had to actually get my workout gear on and play (read work out) on the Wii. I had a blast! I found myself competing with my previous scores and getting angry when I "failed" a task. Apparently, if you drop your hula hoop, you "fail" the challenge. My favorites so far are running and the hula hoop challenge. As I was jogging along on my third run, I was passed by a smiling Jesus who waved back at me. I must say it made me chuckle and it helped me to feel less like I was working out and more like I was playing video games. I am still pissed about the fat avatar thing, but this too shall pass.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Never safe to assume...
By now I figured it was common knowledge that I had 2, yes, TWO, count em 2, tattoos. My Michael seemed surprised to see them the other day. As some of you know, I had bonded with Dylan over tattoos a few years back before he deployed for his third trip back to hell. Dylan got a wicked awesome tat of a steeley/cubs thing on his elbow and I got a cutie patootie tattoo toe ring on my right foot. The tattoo artist was taken aback and rather insulted that I referred to it as, "a cutie patootie tattoo". I remember commenting that it had not hurt as badly as I had thought it would and was rather surprised when it appeared to have rubbed off just a few weeks later. The theory was that the tattoo artist had "skin popped it" or only hit the top few layers so it wasn't really permanent.
For my 2 year anniversary (I have decided to go with the date of my first fateful mammogram as that is the date that is burned into my mind) I felt compelled to commemorate the event. For whatever reason, I was drawn to the idea of a tattoo. Nothing huge, nothing fancy, just a pink ribbon with maybe a few flowers. The obvious spot for such a tattoo would appear to be the left boob. However, my entire chestal area voted that idea off the island and refused to let the needles anywhere near. The top of the foot, while extremely painful to tattoo, seemed the next obvious choice, as there was no way in hell I was getting a tramp stamp and everything else was exposed with a bathing suit top and therefore in your face. The foot is the one part of the body that doesn't change shape much when you lose or gain weight. While I was at it, I had the guy redo the toe ring. This time, the thing hurt like holy hell.........thank you valium.
For my 2 year anniversary (I have decided to go with the date of my first fateful mammogram as that is the date that is burned into my mind) I felt compelled to commemorate the event. For whatever reason, I was drawn to the idea of a tattoo. Nothing huge, nothing fancy, just a pink ribbon with maybe a few flowers. The obvious spot for such a tattoo would appear to be the left boob. However, my entire chestal area voted that idea off the island and refused to let the needles anywhere near. The top of the foot, while extremely painful to tattoo, seemed the next obvious choice, as there was no way in hell I was getting a tramp stamp and everything else was exposed with a bathing suit top and therefore in your face. The foot is the one part of the body that doesn't change shape much when you lose or gain weight. While I was at it, I had the guy redo the toe ring. This time, the thing hurt like holy hell.........thank you valium.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Back and Forwards
Last year, meaning 2010, was interesting one full of changes and experiences. I am glad to say I was able to start the year with hair. The hair is now short and grey and does whatever the hell it wants. No amount of product seems to tame the perpetual state of bedheadedness that has become my new hairdo. My hair is one giant mess. Keeping it realllllllllllly short seems to help but I am letting it grow for the winter. I found a hat I liked that managed to keep my head warm, but apparently I lost it the night I took the boys and their friends to Lou Malnati's in Naperville. No good deed goes unpunished.
For those of you who did not know, I moved. I am still in Chicago but I moved a few blocks North from the Edgewater hood to Rogers Park. I also moved 2 red line L stops further North, but my favorite bus, the 147 Express, stops at my corner. The 147 goes express on Lake Shore Drive at Foster and it provides me with my "moment of zen" every single time I ride the bus. I do not care where you think you have been and the wonders you may have seen, but NOTHING beats Lake Shore Drive for the beauty it exudes. Day, night, rain, snow, or clear and sunny, Lake Shore Drive is a great view both East and West.
I have been lucky enough to work most of the year, although it seems the rate of pay for Chicago projects has gone back down. With some projects, I almost make more on unemployment then I do working. I appreciate the need to get out of bed every day with someplace to go and something to do. Now that I have a) recovered from cancer and completed all my treatments, b) moved, and c) settled down, I need to work on improving my health. My goal is to lose weight but I am not setting a number on anything. I purchased a Wii Fit system and I love it. I enjoy having the tracking system in place to track my progress. What I HATE about the system is the fact that once it weighed me and added my height and age, it determined I am obese (no shit!) and made my little animated person fat. REALLY? My avatar is now fat??? They had to go there. I will look into outside fitness programs but I like the fact I can do this at home and shower in my own bathroom when done.
I have ONE more graduation to attend this year and 4.25 more child support payments to make. After attending my last mandatory graduation I will not EVER have to step in the state of Texas again. After the child support is done, I am using the money I get from his retirement to travel the world. I joined the Navy and only ever saw Navy World. I need to get out more and meet new people and eat great food. I have heard the pasta in Italy is pretty good.
I will also devote myself to finding a "real job" this year. I enjoy the work I do and I love the lifestyle it affords, but I miss the stability that comes with a regular paycheck, not to mention the benefits. Dental? I do not recall such a thing. Onwards and upwards..........no place to go but up these days!
For those of you who did not know, I moved. I am still in Chicago but I moved a few blocks North from the Edgewater hood to Rogers Park. I also moved 2 red line L stops further North, but my favorite bus, the 147 Express, stops at my corner. The 147 goes express on Lake Shore Drive at Foster and it provides me with my "moment of zen" every single time I ride the bus. I do not care where you think you have been and the wonders you may have seen, but NOTHING beats Lake Shore Drive for the beauty it exudes. Day, night, rain, snow, or clear and sunny, Lake Shore Drive is a great view both East and West.
I have been lucky enough to work most of the year, although it seems the rate of pay for Chicago projects has gone back down. With some projects, I almost make more on unemployment then I do working. I appreciate the need to get out of bed every day with someplace to go and something to do. Now that I have a) recovered from cancer and completed all my treatments, b) moved, and c) settled down, I need to work on improving my health. My goal is to lose weight but I am not setting a number on anything. I purchased a Wii Fit system and I love it. I enjoy having the tracking system in place to track my progress. What I HATE about the system is the fact that once it weighed me and added my height and age, it determined I am obese (no shit!) and made my little animated person fat. REALLY? My avatar is now fat??? They had to go there. I will look into outside fitness programs but I like the fact I can do this at home and shower in my own bathroom when done.
I have ONE more graduation to attend this year and 4.25 more child support payments to make. After attending my last mandatory graduation I will not EVER have to step in the state of Texas again. After the child support is done, I am using the money I get from his retirement to travel the world. I joined the Navy and only ever saw Navy World. I need to get out more and meet new people and eat great food. I have heard the pasta in Italy is pretty good.
I will also devote myself to finding a "real job" this year. I enjoy the work I do and I love the lifestyle it affords, but I miss the stability that comes with a regular paycheck, not to mention the benefits. Dental? I do not recall such a thing. Onwards and upwards..........no place to go but up these days!
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