A new perspective.

After my second dose, I realized that I was a mere 1/4 of the way through the full course of chemo and I felt overwhelmed. Like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Due to feeling totally shitty (EVERY pun intended), I told the doctor I was about ready to stop just to make my body stop fighting me. She told me that there were 4 doses of the "bad shit" and 4 doses of the not so bad shit. She told me to think in terms of the fact that I was half way done with the bad shit and the last 4 doses would be a lot less nasty. When I came to realize that I was doing myself a disservice to consider the entire course instead of the two differant drugs, I felt better about the whole lot. But, I am also going to seriously rethink radiation and will have a serious heart-to-heart with both the oncologist and the radiologist. One day at a time and baby steps.