Pain meds, porn and peas

I went into the whole acupuncture hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. First of all, unless the student is a bad needeler, it generally doesn't hurt and you don't necessarily feel it. As my brother-in-law pointed out, there is no "cure", there is simply a state of maintenance. So, the fact that I have felt better since starting acupuncture convinces me that it is working. The degree to which it works is debatable and may change from day-to-day or even week-to-week. I can now say for sure it was working because, like pain meds, I may not have been fully aware it was working, but boy was I aware of the fact the effects were wearing off. Like porn, you may not be able to define the actual benefits, but you will know it when you feel it. As for the pea reference, my body is going through another rough patch and so the concept of buying a memory foam mattress needs to become a reality VERY QUICKLY. Thankful to be working to make that happen.

The acupuncture clinic is closed for the holidays but I doubled up my herbs so I should live until they reopen.

Am I really right??

I have been watching the news lately and it seems that the Republicans have decided that the rich are not rich enough and to take ANY of the money would cause the end of civilization as we know it. So, I want to make sure I have it right....after all, we are negotiating with terrorists right?

Gays can only serve opening in the military but ONLY if the rich get to keep all their cash.

Unemployed individuals get a few extra months of benefits but ONLY if the rich get to keep all their cash.

Health care for everyone is going to be recalled and parts of the legislation has been declared unconstitutional, BUT the rich get to keep all their cash.

Our president seems to have lost his spine and the Dems have crawled into a cave to lick their wounds, BUT, the rich get to keep all their cash.......right?

Holiday baking and other stuff

It is that time of year again. I have now participated in 5 craft fairs and all but 2 were a complete bust. My friend Nikka has been a blessing as my helper. When you work an actual craft fair with actual paying customers, it helps to have 2 people. I can work on making more items or making custom items while the other person sells and does customer interactions. All of the other vendors agreed that this year has been a bad year for homemade crafts. Food booths are doing better then anyone else, as you can always seem to justify a box of cookies or a jar of homemade jam. It is a sad state of affairs when you are THRILLED to "make the table" (cover the cost of the fee to sell that can vary from $15 to $125). It is an accomplishment when the cost of the table is $50 but if ALL you do is make the table and the fee was $15, it is a very sad show.

I have one more show to do this season, unless someone knows of a group doing a craft fair the weekend of Dec. 18, and then I pack it away for the winter. I will gear up now for spring and summer, but I should absolutely work on my Etsy sight.

www.blythespiritsjewelry.etsy.com

My biggest hurdle is the pictures for my sight. My camera does not want to cooperate and keeps eating batteries. My roomie has a camera but I do not want to play with the settings. The pictures for Etsy need to be smaller in size and so you are better off with a low end camera. I am working on it, but I acknowledge that it is my biggest hurdle.

My last fair was a last minute one. The church across the street from my apartment on Granville provided me with a last minute table and so I was able to make enough yesterday to fund the basics for holiday baking. Not sure how many boxes of cookies I will wind up mailing this year, the cost per box is about $10-15, but the locals are safe. My mailing priorities are based primarily on the speed at which prior recipients have acknowledged receipt of their previous packages. In other words, those who couldn't be bothered to respond without a follow-up email have been chopped from the list. Sorry, I can't afford to be ignored this year....LOL

This year, it is looking like all my gifts will be handmade items. So, expect jewelry, baked goods, ornaments, etc. I already know that baked goods is the number one request, so don't bother with the tons of emails suggesting I give more baked goods.

I came, I saw, I annoyed Rahm Emanuel

My original plans were to fly out first thing Monday morning so I could be back in town on Monday early enough to put in a 10 hour day if I was working. On Sunday, I spent a portion of the day seeing if there was a way to delay my flight and spend some more time in DC with Dean on Monday. Because I booked through travelocity.com, I could not change my flight without stiff penalties. So, I went to work on figuring out how I was going to get from Silver Springs, MD to BWI airport. My flight left at 6::50 am so I knew it would suck to get up early enough to catch my flight. I called a number of shuttle services and most of them didn't have a driver or wanted almost as much for a ride as I would have paid to change my flight. At 10:00pm the shuttle I had booked informed me that they were canceling the shuttle for lack of a driver. It was not until 11:00pm Sunday night that I was able to secure a shuttle to the airport that would pick me up at the hotel at 0400 hours. That is pronounced, "O four hundred and the O stands for OMG it's early!" I showered, put on my clothes I was wearing for the flight, set the timer for 3:45am and crawled into bed.

So, it is now butt crack of dawn, I have had no sleep and no coffee and I am at BWI airport. I did not find a Starbucks but I bought a cup of coffee that was half-caff, thinking I would try to catch a nap on the plane. So, here I am sitting in the waiting area near my gate at BWI, looking and feeling like the all American girl, and in walks this guy who looks familiar. It took a few minutes for me to realize the little guy in the jeans, running shoes and parka, carrying a backpack, was in fact Rahm Emanuel. I sat there for a few minutes before I realized I could not help myself and had to at least say hello.

I approached him and told him I had to know if he was running or not. Remember, this was before he announced. I said I wanted to know if he was planning to run for Mayor of Chicago and he asked me if I was "dying" to know. I told him I was just curious and had considered throwing my hat in the ring as well. He told me I should run too as everyone else was running. I asked if he knew who else might be running and he mentioned Mosely-Braun, Meeks, Dart and I just chuckled. I told him that I felt it was my job to keep the candidates toes to the fire on the important issues. At this point, I could feel the crazy bell going off in my head, but there was no stopping me and I wasn't getting any more coherent.

I told him the first thing I would do as mayor was to take away all the cars/drivers for the top executives in the city government. The ONLY person who really needs a car and driver is the mayor himself. I resent the fact that people like the members of the Chicago Public School Board had drivers and cars. I consider this a matter of fraud, waste and abuse. Also, for the amount of money this city spends on flowers, they need to plant more edible stuff for the soup kitchens. He was chuckling and trying desperately to ignore the crazy lady when I gave him my parting shot. I told him that in the words of Ralph Nader, if he wanted my vote, he had to earn it as I would NOT just give it to him.

After a few more sips of coffee, I came to realize I had beat the man over the head with my crazy stick and I sounded like an idiot. Most who know me will say that I am passionate about my causes, but that I am also very intelligent and highly articulate. So, after they loaded him into the plane first (no, he did not fly first class), I told him that he should stay in DC and do what he did best, which was to be a pit-bull for the pres and continue to provide him with plausible deniability. I also told him that the job of mayor may not last past one term as the city was shaken by the news and might expect too much too soon.

Rahm thinks I am nuts, I think he has decided that he is the most deserving of the position, that he is entitled to take the job if he wants it and it is a foregone conclusion that he wins if he runs. I say F that shit and we need to nail down ALL the candidates not on the issues but on their ideas for solutions.

The City of Chicago is a great city. The city has run for, what seems like forever, on its "machine politics". "Machine politics" consists of the usual pay-for-play things that have been going on forever. I was raised on Chicago politics and know that it has nothing to do with what you know or what you can do, but who you know and what they can do for you. Mutual gratification at the expense of the city treasury. The first thing they ALL do when they get in office is to put their family, friends and supporters into well paying positions that they are likely not qualified to hold (think Stroger Jr.). The city is like a car and we have been driving it into the ground without stopping to change the oil. The city needs an oil change, NOT just a new driver.

I went, I saw, I rallied on the Mall part II the Rally

We were late getting out the door of the hotel on Saturday, but with these kinds of things, if you are not there at O dark thirty, or butt crack of dawn, you are not sitting in the front row anyways. I am getting up in years and I was not up to a 3:30am wake-up call. We moved slowly but surely to the Metro and headed downtown. My only problem was that there is a Starbucks RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the Metro station but the Metro is as clean as it is because they will arrest your ass for eating/drinking on the train. With a heavy heart, and far too little caffeine, we went downtown.

I had map quested the journey beforehand, but the crowds tended to agree to get off at the Metro Center stop. There appeared to be a great deal of confusion as to where the actual rally was to be held but I was sure the crowd was headed to the wrong end of the mall. We got off with the crowd at Metro Center and headed out of the subway instead of connecting to another train. As we headed for the mall, I found a Starbucks whose line never moved. Seriously, you know a million gazillion people are headed to the mall for a rally and you have ONE person working the Starbucks?? Really???!?? A second one came out from the back room or restroom, but the line never moved. I finally gave up and in true tourist fashion, we stopped at a truck and bought hot dogs and diet sodas for breakfast.

We arrived at the mall about 10:30 and I forced us into a spot about 1/4 of the way back from the stage. We could see the stage and the people on it, but the jumbotron behind the first like 25 rows (?) of people blocked most of the action for us. Fortunately, there were speakers and a jumbotron a few yards in front of us so we saw and heard EVERYTHING! After we camped out in our spot, I made the brave journey forth to buy souvenirs, figuring that by the end of the rally all the good shit would be long gone. Noone was sure how big this thing was gonna be so I went with my original theory of ginormous. I was right. By the time I got back from buying schwag, it was 11:30 ish and the crowd appeared to go all the way back to the reflecting pond at the other end of the mall. Crowd estimates of 200,000 were on the light side of the guess and not the far side.

What pleased me the most about the entire experience were the people we met. Yes, there were some angry radicals from both sides. The kind that truly believe the louder you yell the saner you appear. Also, volume is directly connected to accuracy of your facts. But, for the most part, the crowd was composed of really cool people just looking to hang out and have a good time. There was a great deal of debate about what this rally was supposed to "mean". I don't know that it was ever supposed to "mean" anything, but instead, provided an opportunity for a large number of like minded individuals to get together to show D.C. that we were out there and would not shut up and go away. You can go to just about any site and find pictures of the signs that people carried. Most of them were very true, very funny and highly irreverent.

Where we were standing, and yes, we pretty much stood for hours (although I sat down a bit too), we were in the middle of groups of friends that came together. One large group to the left called themselves, "Mothers Against Insanity (?) Doing Something". The shirts acknowledged that yes, they were the MAIDS, but the back of the shirts said, "Don't worry, the moms are here." Priceless! The group to the right of us was a smaller group of hippy moms who, may or may not, have had small plastic baggies in their purses, and who passed around small bottles of hootch and chocolate candies. The moms on our left and the hippy moms on the right hooked us up with snacks, sunscreen and a few laughs.

For anyone who did NOT attend or watch the rally on TV, I will simply say that I am hoping like hell they release the thing on DVD. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that the entire rally could best be characterized by the moment in which Jusef Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) was singing "Peace Train" only to be interrupted by Ozzy Osborne with "Train to Hell(?)". Yeah, it was like that.

My complaints about the rally had nothing to do with the rally itself. I had lived outside D.C. and worked in D.C. for a few years, so I was very familiar with how things run when there is a march or rally in the city. What shocked and amazed me was the fact that the city seemed totally unprepared for what hit them. It was as if they had NEVER experienced a large rally before in their lives. AND, the Marine Corps Marathon was that weekend as well and their heads were still up their asses about that one. The Metro ran very few trains AND they were running really short trains. Even the CTA runs extra trains with more cars when there is a Cubs or Sox game. I know they had no real clue about how many were coming, but even I knew that there would be more like 200,000 people. The next day I heard that on a regular Saturday, WITHOUT an event, they could expect about 200,000 people riding the Metro before 3:00pm. The day of the rally they had over 400,000 through in that time. It took us HOURS to get home because we had to wait for trains. The ONLY advantage to going to the wrong end of the mall, and keep in mind those people could not see or hear the rally, was that they got on the trains before the attendees did so they got home earlier.

Next post, the day after and THE moment with Rahm.

I went, I saw, I rallied on the mall! Part I, the journey

I am finally rested enough to talk about my exciting grand adventure to D.C. I am sorry to start this off by saying it was a sh*t storm in this country last night so now we need to start digging ourselves out from under it. I blame the Dems for not getting much done while they were "in charge", but I also blame the country for giving the keys back to the asswipes who wrecked the country while they were in charge. In the words of Tim Gunn, make it work people.

Off the podium, now we can begin.

The minute Stewart and Colbert announced they were holding a rally on the mall, I announced I would be there. I wasn't sure what the message/purpose of the rally/rallies was, but I knew I would be there. When I informed the roomie that I was going, he was quick to jump on the train for the ride. No pun intended, we actually took the Amtrak train to D.C. Dean booked a sleeper so I just had to pay for my train fare. Apparently, when you book a sleeper, your meals are included. The secret is to find the sleeper lounge in the Amtrak station so you will get special boarding priority and so you can book a reservation for your first meal in the dining car. The food was pretty good, but because we were not the first in line for breakfast, they ran out of food and we had to wait for first seating at lunch.

The train was FULL of folks attending the rally so a good time was had by all. The compartment itself was smaller then I thought but was roomy enough, after you settled in, to be quite comfortable. Dean had said he wanted the top bunk, but upon entry it was clear that; a) he wouldn't fit, b) there was no window, c) there was no way in hell he would have fit. There are bathrooms in the hall and they have a shower in them. Yeah, good luck with that. I had already planned ahead by taking a shower right before I left for the train. The bed was very narrow and not bad. The top bunk dropped down and the two facing seats fold down to form the bottom bunk. Tip to the traveler, ask for extra pillows! In case you were wondering, they come by your roomette and put your beds together for you and then come back in the morning and fold them back up.

We were 2.5 hours late into D.C. due to an accident on the tracks from a prior train. No clue where this was, it was like midnight in the middle of nowhere. We pulled into Union Station in D.C. and were able to take the Metro to Silver Spring, MD, to our hotel. While a part of me was sad to be so far from the mall, it was nice to get away from the madness to a quiet place at the end of the day.

Tomorrow, the rally.

Exercise is Dangerous!

I was out biking today and I noticed 2 buses stopped in front of me. I would make it between the buses and the cars if the bus doors were closed. So, I slowed to a crawl and waited until all of the passengers were off the bus and the bus doors all closed to make the attempt to pass the bus. Needless to say, one last customer waited until I was moving to demand to get off the bus and I guess you could say I got "doored". I was barely able to miss the bus doors, but I did manage to crash into the curb and the car parked next to the bus. My chain came off the bike and I peed my pants, but I escaped with my life and no major damage.

Candide INDEED!

I had only barely heard of the musical Candide before. Dean asked me if I was interested in attending the show and I was quick to say of course! Apparently it has quite the history, that constitutes a soap opera in and of itself. The show, at the Goodman, was SPECTACULAR! Our little Piccolo can put on some great shows, but there is nothing quite like a professional Broadway style event to make you realize that neighborhood theatre is just that, from the hood. Sighs.

Bruises, regrets and kismet

I woke the other day to find a large bruise on one of my thighs. This is NOT a TMI moment, because I bruise like a Georgia peach and I wake up with bruises all the time and can't remember them. I once woke up with what looked like little paw prints on my chest and sure enough, that night when I went to bed and Miss Kitty stood on my chest, I realized, they were actually little paw prints. So, I woke up to find a bruise on my thigh and could not figure out where this came from. Having errands to run, I dragged my bike out of the basement and when I went to get on said bike, WHAM! I hit my thigh in almost the exact same spot on my bike. It appears that for my own health and safety I had to relocate my water bottle holder to a safer position on my bike. Note to self, fill water bottle and take it with you when you leave the house. A water bottle does you no good at home empty. Mystery solved.

While riding my bike, I realized that the one thing I regretted about the whole cancer gravy train thing was that I did not make more efforts to walk and work out while I was down for the count. I have gained back the weight I lost and then some and I am not comfortable. I need to get off my ass and get moving, but the motivation level around here is nil. I must say that since buying a bike I actually love to ride, and that actually fits my size, I love riding I just don't do it enough. I need someone to start cracking the whip!

Speaking of bikes, I have been telling myself to buy a bell for the bike. It is like a car horn, until you need it, you don't need it. I have looked online and at bike shops and not found anything I liked. Recently, I had volunteered for a bike rally thing and it served to remind me that I needed a bell. Oh yeah, and a helmet. Imagine my surprise when a box arrived yesterday and in it was a thank you letter from the bike rally organizers and, a bell. :-)

Where is the Pink????

I have now been to Walgreens, Dominick's, Jewel, Target, Wal Mart, you name it and I am NOT seeing the love/pink this year. I used to think that the entire world turned pink for the month of October for breast cancer awareness. Now, I feel like the world forgot. I was trying to find pink ribbon M&M's for my party or some other pink wrapped candy and I was very hard pressed to find anything other then those awful pink disk things they try to pass off as mints. I am sad, to say the least.

A new page

September 27 will be 2 years from the date of my first fateful mammogram. No clue how I will spend the day, but I do want to spend some time reflecting.

I took my wig and some others that were given me, along with the baby caps I had, over to an organization that used to be called "Why Me Org." They were grateful for the donation and I was glad I could pass it forward.

Apparently I will be the first one, in my of my various circles of friends, to turn the big 50. That is not this February, but 2012. One friend suggested going on a cruise and getting together as many friends as possible to join us for said cruise. In mulling this option, I decided that I don't think I want to do that. The number one reason would be that I would be the only person on the cruise going as a solo so I would have to be a third wheel in someone else room. (Very heavy sigh)

One way only?

I was reading the Tribune online the other day and happened upon the photos of the Muslims protesting the possible future burning of copies of the Quran. The first thing that struck me about the picture was the fact that almost all of the signs were in English (the protest was happening in another country), and they appeared to have been professionally printed. I thought to myself, "My, how organized." I understand that they would be upset with the notion of someone burning something they hold sacred, but I seem to recall large numbers of people in the Middle East burning American flags and our politicians, in effigy.

In America, we hold the flag up as a symbol of freedom and as a source of national pride. BUT, we also hold that the right to freedom of speech and religion allows for the burning of flags and bibles and people in effigy as a constitutional right. So, when they burn our flag, that is ok but if we burn something of theirs that is wrong? While the flag may not be a "religious" symbol, although the far right equates patriotism with religious ferver, it is a sacred symbol. If we were going over there to burn a Quran, that would be a whole different thing. The fact that it is happening on American soil is testiment to the fact that it can happen in this country.

I have no problems with any religion, but if we have to respect your religion and customs, you have to respect ours. The only thing I can think at this point is that some people need to take a chill pill and learn a little tolerence. What if we are all wrong and there is no God at all? All those people who have killed in the name of religion are gonna feel pretty stupid, don't you think?

Ah, the memories...

I have posted a few pics of Ian's graduation to Facebook and the rest have been uploaded into the pics on my profile. It was amazing that Ian and I could relate about the "good times" at boot camp. Although his boot camp was a great deal more vigorous and 100 times more physically challenging, we were able to share our little stories and bond. Ian thanked me for teaching him the trick of laying under your bed with your fingers laced in the springs to catch a quick nap on the floor. If anyone catches you napping, you were merely squaring away the sheets under the bed and they cannot really yell at you for trying to keep your bed extra sharp looking. He did not use my hint of going to church to nap, as he found it far easier to just crawl under his bed.

Ian said he enjoyed the experience and felt he was better for it. I said that I was happiest knowing I was finished and would not have to do it again. We both agreed that the best two words to describe boot camp, in any branch, are sleep deprived!

Sideways

I was having a difficult time falling asleep a few weeks back and I found myself turning sideways on the bed. I didn't think much of it the first time, but when I realized it was becoming a reoccuring thing, it gave me pause. It was like whenI was constipated and figured that taking off my clothes and being naked would somehow help matters. I chaulked it up to some sort of weird primal thing and just went with it. The other night it finally dawned on me that by turning sideways, I was moving out of the hot spot in search of a cooler spot on the bed. Because I only have a double, there is no cool side so I was turning sideways.

A Better Time

My first night of bootcamp, I ran (read walked) half a mile and then they tested us to provide us with a baseline. I ran (again, read walked) 1.0 miles, half a mile at a time, did 40 deep knee bends (allegedly), did 30 killer sit-ups (allegedly), 20 push-ups (not even going to pretend on this one), and 10 squat thrusts (kinda). My time was 23:18 minutes. I barely did any of the exercises and I pretty much walk most of the way. I was a hurting cowgirl for 2 days following that little "test". But, I survived and kept going back for more.

Last night was our "final exam". I was able to mostly run the entire 1.5 miles, do all of the exercises, albeit not as well as the young kids, and live to tell the tale. I had the most improved time. My new time was 18:30. Not bad for the fat old lady bringing up the rear huh? The young kids who were able to keep up with all the exercises barely improved their times. Some shaved as little as 10 seconds off their time. This only confirms my theory that, for the most part, the kids in the class were not all that bad off to begin with.

Next stop is yoga. I bought yet another Groupon and will try my hand at yoga. This ties into my long-term fitness goals that started by purchasing a yoga mat 2 years ago and a bag to carry my mat in last year. Baby steps, don't wanna hurt myself by going to fast. After all, who in their right mind would sign up for a fitness bootcamp that starts at the end of July in an outdoor park?

Head Down

They keep yelling at me in bootcamp to run with my head up. I find myself looking down at the path directly in front of me. I find that I prefer to see the steps in front of me then to look up and realize I am not even close to the end of my journey. It seems to be a habit I developed while doing the whole BC thing. Rather then realize that the whole process of 3 surgeries, 8 doses of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation, would take a whole year to complete, I tried to think of just one thing at a time. How much longer to the next procedure? How many doses had I completed and how many I had remaining. By keeping my eyes on only the next procedure/dose/step, I was able to stay focused and not panic. It is the same when I am working out. By keeping my eyes focused on the next few steps I can keep going at my slow but steady pace.

I am not the fastest, but I always finish, even if it is in last place. I accept this. The other thing that helps motivate me is the fact that I am almost twice as old as everyone else in the class. I could be their mother. Considering my age, condition and myriad of medical issues, I think I am doing pretty damned good. I hope to use this momentum to keep going and lose some serious weight. I sat on my fat ass long enough for 3 people, so it is time to get moving and stay moving.

Stupid Ideas

People traveling to India for medical procedures have brought back to Britain a new gene that allows any bacteria to become a superbug, and scientists are warning this type of drug resistance could soon appear worldwide.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD THINK ABOUT GOING TO INDIA OR PAKISTAN FOR MEDICAL PROCEDURES????? That is the BEST place you can think of to go for a tummy tuck??? REALLY?

Fitness bootcamp update

I was able to go to acupuncture last night and was hoping for a reallllly good nights sleep. No such luck. I was woken up at least twice hot as hell and sweating like a horse. Oh well, maybe it will be better tonight? One must keep up the hope part of their life.

Fitness bootcamp is tonight and it is hot and muggy out. The part that sucks the most is the bugs. I am not just talking millions of mosquitos, I am talking those damned biting flies. It is hard to think about working your muscles properly when a small creature is biting them. Oh well, this week and next and then I am going to try yoga. Yoga is indoors, does not involve running and is supposed to be better for me. We shall see.

Night Sweats

GF, I now feel your pain! I can go to bed at 9, wake up at 8:30 and still not feel rested even with a sleeping pill. With everything going on in my life, and all of the house guests, acupuncture has taken a back seat. As soon as my Michael leaves I am back on that horse.

Stupid People

I was reading the news and came across two stories that back my claim that stupidity should be the test for procreating.

A woman was pulled from the lake in the early morning hours by fishermen when the group she was partying with on a boat decided to ALL jump off the boat at 1:30 am to go for a swim. Apparently the boat floated away and it looks like 2 of the four drowned. First of all, drinking and boating REALLY don't mix any more then drinking and driving. Second of all, I thought it was basic common boating sense to either a) anchor the boat before ALL jumping off or b) leaving one idiot behind to rescue the others or at least call for help.

A man, fleeing the scene of an accident, blew a stop sign and crashed into.........wait for it..........a police car. The cop has his police lights activated at the time. The man was charged with aggravated DUI, reckless driving, etc. It doesn't say what time the accident happened, but it is my guess, it was after 10:00 pm. Which reminds me of another story.

A young high school student was killed by a drunk driver as he pedaled home from a convenience store. The student was a good kid, well liked and apparently doing well in school. He was struck and killed around 1:30 am.

Every single time I read the papers about someone getting robbed, shot, mugged, etc., the first thing I do is note the time of the crime. Almost EVERY SINGLE TIME the incident occurs after 10:00 pm (more like after midnight) and before 6:00 am. What is it with stupid people and being out after dark? Does the darkness beget stupidity or merely attract it?

All of these incidents are tragic, but tragically, they were all avoidable. Who the hell goes out boating on a lake at 11:30 pm? REALLY?

This just in: Two teens were shot over the weekend after a confrontation between two groups in downtown Evanston, police said. The teens, 16 and 17, were discovered at about 11:42 p.m. Saturday at the intersection of Benson Avenue and Davis Street, said Evanston Police Commander James Pickett.

I REST MY CASE!

I live another day

So far, almost 2 weeks (3 classes a week, 5 actually attended) and I they have not manged to kill me yet. It isn't like they haven't tried, but so far, I live to tell another tale. Most of the class members are in the early to mid 20's. One of my coworkers joined the class with me and he is in his early 30's. He is barely able to keep up with the rest of the class. He was surprised to see that I was staying abreast of the class (every pun intended) and I explained to him that I was managing to keep up because I don't do the same exercises as the rest of the class and I cheat like hell. I have pulled my cancer/chemo card out of storage and taped it to my forehead. I have not done any exercise in over a year and nothing really physical either. I have no upper body strength left because just about all of the muscles in my chest were sliced and I wasn't doing any upper body work.

So, my secret is that I do a modified version of the exercises they assign and I cheat like hell. When the instructors are not looking I am walking or standing. If they are told to do 30 reps, I may do 25. No matter how I do it, I will just keep doing it for another 2 weeks. My next step is yoga. I got a groupon for 4 weeks of unlimited yoga. We shall see.

Bringing up the rear

I started my first day of fitness boot camp and I have to say I hate the person who invented this shit. My worst fears were realized when I was, in fact, the fat lady who was the last one to cross the finish line. We ran 1/2 a mile, had our introduction to boot camp, ran another 1/2 mile, did 40 deep knee bends, 30 sit ups, 20 push-ups, and 10 of those frog things where you drop down, kick your legs up and hop back up. After that, we ran yet another 1/2 mile. I will neither admit nor deny that I kept an accurate count of my calisthenics, but I did as best I could. I was the last person to cross the finish line by a good 3 minutes and I am happy to report that they cheered me on. I explained the whole cancer/chemo (gravy train ride) thing, and I further explained that I would not quit but I would do the best I was able to do and that was not going to make me first across the finish line. I found the running hurt the lungs more then it tired out my legs and the push-ups were hard on the upper body after barely lifting things for a very long time.

That which does not kill us will just hurt like hell for a very long time. I will go back for more punishment on Wednesday and Thursday this week. I have 3 classes a day for the next 4 weeks.......really??

More stuff I did not know

I have known for a while that you should drink water at room temperature in order to hydrate more quickly. When you drink really cold water your body has to warm it up before it can be used. What I did not know is that the act of drinking ice water will aggravate the hot flashes by upsetting the body's normal temp. I knew that air conditioning was not the best alternative, but I did not know that having a fan blow on you directly will dry you off while helping close the body's pores. By closing pores, you are again upsetting the body's natural cooling systems. Of course, the Chinese herbalist/acupuncturist telling me this was a man who has never experienced a hot flash. All good in theory I guess.

The summer heat and working dogs

I know you are NOT supposed to touch, pet or otherwise interfere with a seeing eye dog while his/her harness is attached. What about offering the owner water for the dog? I was on the train the other day and a woman entered with her dog. The dog did not seem to want to sit/lay down (actually, I wouldn't want to touch the floor of an L train either) but when it finally lay down, it was obvious the dog was hot. It was panting frantically. I had an empty container after bringing a salad to work and a bottle of water in my bag. I was across the aisle so I could not lean in and ask. Was I wrong to not ask her if she would have liked a bowl of water for her dog? When I exited the train, I encountered a man waiting at the bus stop with his dog. Should I have stopped and offered his dog a drink? I don't know what the protocol is and I did not want to offend anyone, but it was hotter the hell outside and the dogs just seemed to want or need a drink.

Oh no, not again

I came home last night, after a long stressful week, and after I finished vacuuming cat litter from the sun porch I hopped into the shower. What I saw in the mirror almost brought me to tears. After years of fighting them I really thought I had put them behind me. I am talking about the rashes I used to get under and between my boobs. They are heat rashes. Imagine my surprise to find one. I realize it may be aggrevated by both the extreme heat outside and my poor posture inside, but really?

The Catholic church OFFICIALLY hates women

I have known this for years, but their last official policy statement should confirm this for the entire world.

I shall start at the beginning. Back in 1995, during the United Nations' International Conference on Women and Children in Beijing, China, the Vatican exerted a great deal of time and effort bringing the entire conference to a screeching halt as it argued over one paragraph in the report that they were preparing. The entire report was thousands of pages and the Vatican would not let anyone do anything because they objected to that one single paragraph. The paragraph simply said that as to the issue of abortion, each country had to decide for themselves and deal with the issue as they saw fit for their own country.

The Vatican also said that women had no right to say no to their husbands when they wanted sex. It was part of the wife's duties to sexually gratify her husband. The man does not have to gratify his wife's requests for sex because that is not part of his duties to provide for his family. Don't forget the couple cannot use birth control...EVER!

It was at that point I was able to simply wash my hands of the church, run by men, and walk away. The fact that they had been engaging in an ongoing conspiracy to obstruct justice by hiding pedophiles was more then mere icing on the cake, it was res ipsa loquitor.

Now, the church, run by men, has officially declared that to ordain women as priests is to commit as great a sin as sexually molesting children. REALLLLLLLY??????

Sometimes, the world conspires

On Thursday I went for acupuncture fully prepared to sit and wait for hours in the crowded waiting room. Imagine my pleasure in finding the waiting room almost empty at 6:30. I thought I might not have enough time to eat the salad I brought for supper. Of course I was there until after 9:30 and being cash poor (the night before payday) I had to take the redline home.

The one up side to my 4 week nightmare cold from hell was that my body was too busy fighting the cold to engage in much hot flash activity. My hot flashes are back with a vengeance and seem to be trying to make up for lost time. Oh well, with the weather being what it is I no longer stand out when I whip out my fan. Gravy train!

Potential Clients

First of all, I have to say I was thrilled to death to have an old friend come to time and spend time catching up. I miss my NM friends and can't wait to see all of them. Apparently the Catie Blythe memorial guest room may be occupied so I will call ahead and see what is up when I am free to roam about the country. My passport is still being held hostage by the state of Hell.

Last night I attended my first fireworks off the pier by my house. It was wonderful being able to walk there and back and not deal with huge crowds or public transportation. Now to the potential clients part. When I was doing criminal defense work, I found myself muttering, like a mantra, "Stupid people pay my rent. Stupid people pay my rent." It was my experience that criminal clients were not evil, awful, sociopaths, but they were just average people who tended to be really stupid or who did reallllllly stupid things. One of the first things that comes to mind is driving on a suspended license. Unless you are really living in a bubble and it was suspended for something like failing to get your emissions done (this happens all the time and most people honestly did not realize it would happen), when you KNOW you have 25 unpaid tickets or you KNOW you were arrested for DUI, you KNOW your license is suspended and you have no excuses for being caught driving. My favorite "excuse" is that they didn't know that being suspended meant they could not drive at all. Really?

So, stupid people. Last night at the beach there were at least two groups of folks shooting off what appeared to be professional grade fireworks. We were actually quite impressed and it even appeared that one group knew what it was doing and was doing it behind a fenced in area. The rest were questionable at best. One group seemed to manage to launch all their fireworks on a horizontal plane over the lake. Not a problem if there had not been quite a few people in the water swimming at the time. Then there were the idiots who held on to sparking tubes that apparently were supposed to launch missile like projectiles. More then one of them almost got burned when the flame started to travel down the tube they were holding towards their hand. Parents will all tell you not to play with fireworks because you will blow off your hand or shoot your eye out. So, even though there were still some pretty impressive amateur fireworks going off, we chose to leave so that someone else would not shoot our eyes out.

A number of the other attorneys at work got offended when I referred to my criminal clients as "stupid people." However, the one guy who had previously worked as a public defender had to agree that for the most part, the clients were stupid.

Little things

My hair does whatever it wants now. I seem to have perpetual bed head and all of the sudden I have a tiny curl on each of my sideburns. It is the funniest looking thing I have seen in a while. They are two little tiny curls. Oh well, hair by chemo.

I seem to be having a another bout of phantom itches. I have gotten back a bit of the feelings on each of my sides, but at times my boobs itch but I cannot necessarily feel it when I scratch it and scratching it doesn't necessarily relieve the itch. Oh well, at least it is not a missing limb.

I am finally beginning to feel better. It has been 3 weeks and it appears I may be nearing the end of my cold. My ears are still clogged and haven't popped since I left Texas. Did I mention that Texas smells like a swamp? I spent almost the entire weekend in bed with my CLE courses on my laptop and that may have helped push me to the other side of the mountain. I am off to bed early tonight and then plan to put in a 9 hour day tomorrow before my board meeting tomorrow night. Have to make hay while the sun shines.

Open mouth, insert foot

I love that the CEO of BP, Tony Hayward, spent the weekend at a yachting event in the small portion of the ocean that they have apparently managed to not destroy yet. I say give them time. But seriously, of ALLLLLLL the things he could have done to spend time with his family......sailing on the ocean or watching a yacht race? Really? This is the man who was quoted as saying he wanted his life back. Tell that to the people who make a living off the ocean his company just ruined. But, isn't it really all about giving the shareholders a good return on their investment dollars?

This country stands for the right to have your own opinions and to express those opinions. Free speech is a cornerstone of all that America stands for. The only speech that is not protected is speech that is meant to start a public riot. The best example is shouting fire in a crowded movie theater. The exception to the free speech rule comes in play when you join the military. You have the right to your own opinion about anything and everything. You can think the President is an idiot, BUT, you cannot share that opinion with the press. The President, like him or not, is your Commander in Chief and as such, is in charge. To speak ill of your superiors is considered insubordination. To voice your negative opinions of any of your leaders to the press, especially if you are the guy in charge of the unit, is gross insubordination. To put it into perspective, imagine what would happen to you at work if you said the sorts of things that were said to your boss. Better yet, how well would it go over if you put it in the company newsletter? Yeah, it is like that.

The old and the new

Having been to court today, I was reminded in no uncertain terms that stupid people keep criminal defense attorneys employed. I don't like to deal with them, but I have to thank them for their existence.

Last night I was surprised to receive a text from Ian. He was sitting in St. Louis and just wanted to say hi. Kaz quickly informed me that Fort Leonard Wood was still another 3 hours south of St. Louis so Ian was in for a long bus ride. My only advice for him was to SLEEP every single available second he had because as soon as his feet hit the ground he could count on being severely sleep deprived for the next 9 weeks. Poor kid, he said it was too cold to sleep on the bus.

I have now had custody of Michael's old cold for over a week. I am no longer convinced I am dying, or begging for the relief death would offer, but I am still thinking it sucks to be me every time I cough.

BP is still f'ing up the clean-up and trying to pretend it isn't really all that bad. As Bill Maher said, it was all just a conspiracy by pelicans to get a free bath.

There isn't really anything new to report, but the title was catchy.

Where to begin?

I have now managed to graduate one of my two children. Yes, I actually touched his diploma and verified with the principal that it was a valid diploma. As for the trip itself, I would not know where to begin. Let's just say that I loved spending time with my boys and Texas is hell. If the "great" state of Texas wants to secede from the union, I say here's your hat, what's your hurry and don't let the door hit ya on the ass on your way out.

It was truly the most surreal experience I have had in a very long time. I only have to go back to Texas to do this one more time and then I will be done with it all. Ian has become quite the young adult and will be shipping out to boot camp on June 13. After that, he will continue on to his job training and then return home. Apparently I misunderstood his situation and he will be an Army Reservist and not Active Duty Regular Army. He has volunteered for a stint in Afghanistan but can not go anywhere until he finishes basic and training.

I know my biatch posse has my back and knows exactly how to handle a mother who has shipped her son into war. Hopefully we won't have to exercise our great talents.

The "A" word

Appalling? Apocalyptic? Awesome? Words being used to describe the oil disaster include; heartbreaking, total destruction of the marine ecosystem, horrific, impossible, amazing, startling, shocking, arresting and upsetting. Mere words cannot begin to describe the shock and awe of this catastrophic disaster. The word that is being bandied about the most about the oil spill is accountability. Everyone agrees that BP should be held accountable for everything that has happened and take full responsibility for the billions that will be needed to clean this mess up, or at least make a full press effort to clean up THEIR mess.

The one word that seems to have escaped the war of words is...."AVOIDABLE"

It is my understanding that BP bypassed the safety concerns of its employees and took the cheap way out to get at the oil at the bottom of the ocean. We need to acknowledge the 500 pound purple gorilla in the middle of the room. Really?

A BED!

I now have a full sized adult bed. I had no clue that 15" could make a girl so happy to be alive! Apparently a full is about 15" wider then a twin and what a world of difference that 15" makes! Miss Kitty can now take her half from the middle and I still have room to remain in the bed. NO ONE will fall off and it feels good to be able to spread out again. I have purchased 1" risers for under the feet so all of my storage boxes are able to fit underneath to make more storage space in my tiny room. The other great thing about a full is that my queen sized comforters and bedspreads fit perfectly on the full. The only downside to this grand bed adventure is the fact that the mattress I purchased (used) is wayyyy too firm for my tastes. So, like the twin, this is a starter mattress and when I am back to work I will invest in the perfect mattress and platform and ditch the extra height from the box spring. Baby steps for reasonable goals!

Common Sense

Recently, a group of mothers traveled to Iran to visit their children who had been arrested hiking into Iran from a neighboring country. Iran, of course, arrested them as spies and they claim, of course, that they were just innocently hiking along and happened to stumble into Iran by mistake.

Ok, you are staying in a country that borders a hostile country that may or may not shoot you on sight and you made a mistake and stumbled across the border into this hostile country? REALLY? Common sense says that if you are staying in a country that borders a very hostile country, you would make damned sure you didn't hike TOWARDS the border, but rather AWAY from that border. But that is just me and it makes perfect sense.

A no brainer REALLY?!

I LOVE the fact that everyone in Washington is spending all this time, money, energy and effort to try and determine how much oil is spilling forth into the Gulf in order to figure out if the oil executives may have lied about the damage they were causing. REALLY???? We know for a fact they lied and misled the government and the public. Does it really matter if we know exactly how much they lied? We know it is bad, how bad it is makes no difference when it comes to playing the blame game. I would think that they would all realize that it is more important to expend more effort cleaning up what is spilling instead of wasting energy and time trying to figuring out how much is spilling at any given moment. I will tell you what to do. Give each an every politician and oil executive a mop, a scoop and a bucket and tell them to argue and point fingers WHILE THEY ARE CLEANING THE SHIT UP! It seemed like a no brainer to me, but maybe that is because I have a brain and a conscience and they have neither.

A bed

I need a new bed. The twin I was lent has been highly useful and fully functional, but dammit, noone over the age of 10 should have to sleep in a twin sized bed. The rub is that you cannot just swing by Target to pick up a new bed. Anyone who orders a bed by mail is on their own if it is not comfortable. So, a trip to Ikea sounds like a great idea, but most Igo cars are subcompact at best. Once you find a vehicle big enough to haul a full-size box spring and mattress and bed frame, you have to haul it all home and assemble it. Then you must remove the old mattress set, unless you were smart enough to take it out before you bring the new bed home. It makes me tired to just think of it, but every time I crawl into my 3.5' high twin sized bed, I think to myself, dammit, I need a new bed.

Prom is done!

OMG I forgot what a whirlwind event prom is. Ian came to town to take his gf to prom at Naperville Central. Between the tux and the dress and the flowers and the pics and the shoes.... it tires me to just think about it! We celebrated Ian's birthday yesterday at Olive Garden. Nothing says happy birthday like unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks and waiters singing happy birthday. It was good to see both Ian and the parents and Ian's gf is a cutie. I am glad to see he likes a girl with some meat on her bones and is not dating a stick figure. I am just glad it is all over and will start prepping for graduation in June.

Oh yeah, the smell thing.

As I went to bed last night, I smelled a cheap cheesy flowery smell and couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Turns out it was my clothes. I ran out of fabric softener sheets while doing laundry so I got a pack of the cheapest ones they had at the neighborhood grocer across the street. You get what you pay for....LOL

OMG my body hates me, and what is that smell?

I finished moving all my stuff when I unpacked Nikka's car on Monday. I spent all day Saturday moving and 8 hours cleaning and finishing packing on Sunday. I spent most of the day Monday unpacking. Tuesday I spent 3.5 hours at the laundromat washing about 8 large loads of laundry. Bedding, clothes, towels, duvet cover, comforter, etc. I wound up "abandoning" two laundry baskets of stuff that I wouldn't use or didn't want. As I unpack my closet, I am weeding through my clothes, yet again. I am committed to downsizing my life and feel the weight of too much shit lifting off of me every day.

The ONE thing I need to increase is the size of my bed. The whole bed thing is now the stuff of Monty Pythonesque humour. The twin bed sits on a wood platform that allows me to store stuff under the bed. The bed is now 3 feet off the ground. Picture this little, tiny twin that is so tall I have to place my portable safe next to the bed to climb up each night. Yes, it is a total hoot and one of my roommates may or may not have taken pics to post online. I went to the Ikea website and it appears that a full sized bed is the same length as a twin but is 15" wider. I will be able to keep the queen sized comforters and quilts I love while giving Miss Kitty a little more room on the bed. Anyone with a pet will tell you that they take their half out of the middle.

Full steam ahead!

The move is on! A group of college boys rented my "3 bedroom" apartment, apparently for $1350 a month so I am paying a pro-rated rent amount and moving out on Saturday. Yes, the boys actually saw the place. I was here and they were told, by me, in no uncertain terms, this is not legally a 3 bedroom and that the dishwasher was coming with me. Because they needed the place on May 10, I was willing to accommodate them by moving out on Saturday the 8th. :-)

I still have that last bit of packing to go and Brown Elephant is coming on Friday with a truck for the big stuff that did not sell. Anyone need a dining room table and 6 chairs?

As much as I dread the physical move part, I am looking forward to a fresh start on life.

As a small aside to the fresh new start part, I have a funny (?) aside to mention. Apparently he who must not be named, brought the order for child support to Texas and then demanded that they enforce it because Illinois was taking too long to send the checks or something. Texas did not bother to check with Illinois and because I was paying directly through Illinois, as court ordered, Texas had me $4800 in arrears. I was recently denied a passport as a dead beat parent in Texas, even though Illinois agreed that not only was I current, but I was actually ahead of the game by $178. So, Texas may or may not enforce my order, but the funny part comes in now. IF Texas decides to "enforce" my Illinois order, I would continue to pay my support to Illinois, who then, in turn, would mail the check to Texas, who would then cut a check to him. This will actually slow down the payments by up to a week.

Dates to remember

Someone asked me the other day what the date was that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I recall that the date of the first mammogram was on Saturday, September 27, 2008. The following Monday they called me to schedule a second mammogram because they found spots and/or lumps that did not look good. I don't recall what date I went back for the follow-up. As for the actual day I was "diagnosed", I would have to say I do not recall because it seemed like everyone I was talking to at the time, all the doctors anyways, refused to use the "C" word and I was actually the first person to utter the dreaded word itself.

The lumpectomy was performed December 4th(?) and the reduction was performed January 9. Other then that, the rest of the dates are kinda fuzzy. So, I guess the question of when I was diagnosed sparked my follow-up question of, "What is my 'anniversary' date? Do I celebrate being cancer-free? and if so, what date? Having awoken from my year long coma, so to speak, I don't know that I would want to remember most of it, but I feel a small urging in the pit of my tummy to celebrate something. I want to celebrate getting my life back and having much smaller boobs. Do I pick a date for that, and if so, what date do I pick?

Plan Q!

My latest plan was to move today. I was supposed to have someone else signing a lease and moving in May 1 so I figured I would move in the middle of the week and be done before the madness of May 1 moving day began. May 1 marks the beginning of the summer move cycle so I figured I would beat them to the punch. My landlord has just informed me that he does NOT have a tenant for May 1, may have something to do with the fact he is not showing the place and tells everyone it is not available until June 1, so I am back to the drawing board.

Haven't spoken to Dean yet, did speak to Tony, and my latest plan is to move Sat. May 8. This way, if I am working, I won't have to take any more time off from work to pack and move AND it gives me more time to actually sort through the crap and discard/donate/re-gift!

For the first move in YEARS, I am completely into the downsizing thing. I have thrown out bags and bags of trash, donated box after box of stuff, and sent another 2 large boxes of documents to an industrial shred place. I am not finished yet, but boy have I made headway!

PIGEONS!

If there is anything that truly disturbs Miss Kitty, it is pigeons. She is skittish around bugs and only things she is "hunting" the squirrels on the window ledge, they have come to mostly ignore her when they are eating peanuts, but pigeons seem to bring her into full blown panic mode. When she sees the pigeons down on the street, she makes weird little chirping noises to indicate she is seeing what is truly a freakishly large flying creature. It is unnaturally large to be a common bird and the big ones are almost as big as Miss Kitty.

Imagine the horror the other day when one landed on the same window ledge that houses the peanuts for the occasional squirrel! The other evening I walked into the kitchen to find her on the window ledge overlooking the back porch. The back porch is an enclosed space that currently resembles a garbage dump...LOL...as I am in the process of packing and that is where I am keeping extra boxes, etc. Miss Kitty has never shown any interest in sitting on the ledge that overlooks the back porch, so her chirping got my attention. Sure enough, there was a pigeon on the back porch! Apparently it flew in the hole in the plastic sheets covering the top half of the porch. So, after a few minutes of laughing, arm flapping and giggling, I was able to open the small window and steer the bird out. Poor Miss Kitty spent most of the evening perched on the ledge making sure there was not another attack.

The next morning, I found her back on the sill, chirping excitedly. Abandoning my coffee, I KNOW! right?!, I headed out back and sure enough, there was another of those flying rats sitting on top of the freezer like it was a perfectly natural place to be. Again, arm flapping, laughing, repeat and rinse. No sooner had I closed the door then Miss Kitty was back to chirping again. Really? I told her the bird was gone but she insisted it was back. Sure enough, yet another bird had flown in. I swear this one waited in the wings. So, three birds later, the porch was clear of the things and I forgot both my coffee and meds before running out the door to catch a ride to work.

So, I found some duct tape and my nephew was kind enough to climb up and tape the hole shut. Poor Miss Kitty cannot handle that much excitement! She is aware that we are likely moving again, but I think she is just pretending otherwise and living in a state of blissful denial. Like mother, like cat.

Tired of the dance.

It was with great trepidation that I headed West to Loyola yesterday for my mammogram. I don't know why, but this one seemed to bother me. It wasn't that I really thought they would find something, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I really just didn't want to go.

When I arrived late, I spent very little time waiting before they called me in for my mammogram. I have to tell you, it was less painful and difficult when I had huge tits to smash. Now that I have small ones, it seems they are hell bent on pulling them off my chest to clutch them in the vice grip of death. The huge scar on the right side, from the port being ripped out, hurts like hell when they pull and stretch and squeeze. They went ahead and did both sides because I still had the fluid pocket in the right breast.

For all of my underlying bad vibe feelings, I was not prepared for the afternoon from hell. Yet again, it started with the tech coming back to inform me the doctor wanted more views and different shots to examine "spots" (trust me, their word, not mine) that the radiologist had seen on the first series. The took a new set of completely different angle shots and these hurt like an SOB. I was very relieved when she informed me that I was finished and could wait again. It was now 3:30 (my original appointment having been for 1:20) and any hopes of meeting Amy at the VA to discuss something she wanted me to read for her, were dashed.

After what felt like an eternity, I was told that I would have to have an ultrasound of the right breast because the doctor was concerned with the lump. It was like deja vu all over again! Fortunately, Amy had decided to come over and meet me at Loyola and I took great comfort in knowing she was in the waiting room for me. I just lay on the table with a small sense of dread and a clear knowledge that I was not up to another long drawn battle.

Fortunately, everything is fine. The lump is getting smaller, and while it is taking longer then hoped to dissipate, they do think it will eventually go away. I will live another day to fight the fight. I just hate this particular dance.

Dude, we need to chat!

The other day I wanted to borrow a friend's car, so, the trade-off is that I give her a ride to/from work. After dropping her off, I planned to visit Trader Joe's to pick up liquor boxes (perfect for books sillies!) and decided that the one at North and Sheffield(ish) was perfect. There is an uber tiny, sorta grungy strip mall at the corner that houses a Starbucks and an NYC Bagel Co., so I figured lox and bagels and coffee OH MY! The tiny strip mall has only about 12 parking spaces and the queen of parking was able to score the only space available. Even engrossed in my own thoughts of bagels and cream cheese, I could not help but notice the well dressed gentleman, in a car about 3 cars down, with a young assistant type standing near by. The well dressed gentleman seemed to be digging around in his files for something. The young assistant type just stood there as this man continued to dig through files, a briefcase and then the back seat of the car. When the hunt continued to the trunk, I was beginning to chuckle.

The entire time I was watching this show, I kept thinking I know this guy from somewhere. At first I thought he might be a lawyer that I had seen in court or who had a television ad. I just kept thinking that I know this guy from somewhere. In the course of the minute or so I had been watching the floor show, I finally noticed the guy with the earpiece. He was one of those well dressed, dark suit, wearing an ear piece mike, kinda guys. All I could think was that this attorney, or whoever he was, had to be either "somebody" or he was paranoid about getting shot. The security guy just kept watching this whole thing with a look on his face that said, "Really?"

If it wasn't suck a dinky, borderline crappy, middle of the street almost kinda place, I don't think I would have noticed. I kept thinking this guy could at least have pulled into the lot at Whole Foods down the street a bit and did this in a back corner. I finally tired of the show and went for my lox and bagels and coffee OH MY.

After an uber fabulous breakfast, I left Starbucks. On my way back to the car I passed two gentlemen, also rather nicely turned out, sitting outside the bagel place chuckling about the idiot and the floor show. I could not help but ask them who the guy was. I knew I knew the guy but could not place him.

It was at that moment that both gentlemen informed me that the well dressed gentleman who was digging through his files in his car like an idiot was our own Governor Pat Quinn.

It is gone.

I thought I would be a lot sadder to see my wonderful wrought iron bed exit my apartment yesterday, but alas, I was wrong. I was actually glad to see it go. I realized that I had spent wayyyyy too much time in it last year and it was surprisingly therapeutic to see it walk out the door. The only trepidation I experienced was as to attempting to sleep on a twin sized bed. I was not uncomfortable, just afraid I might roll off. Poor Miss Kitty, every time I rolled over, she did roll off the bed. I felt her sleeping at my feet for a while but she was gone, as usual, when I woke up. She knows something is up, and she is NOT happy about it.

The couch is supposed to leave this morning and I must say I will be glad to see it go.

OMG the shower!

I have an uber fabulous friend who comes to town for business now and then and who gets a hotel room in downtown Chicago. If I am working, it makes my commute 5 minutes via a $5 cab ride instead of 60 minutes for $2.25. You do the math! Recently, my uber fabulous friend booked a room for herself and her husband and child for the weekend at the new Trump hotel in Chicago. I have no use for the man myself, and he totally pissed in the political pot in Chicago by screwing people looking to invest in condos, but when offered an opportunity to stay at his hotel for free, I jumped at the chance. Because the husband had to leave a night early, I was asked to join my friend for an evening at the Trump hotel.

The lobby is sparse and it seems the only colors in the whole joint are shades of brown and white/cream with a bit of green thrown in every great once in a while for contrast. Everything is leather, glass or chrome. Not my style, but it looks simple, and some would say elegant. The rooms were nicer then your average hotel room and there was not a snack you could think of missing from the minibar area. If you don't mind paying $12 for 4 peanuts and $25 for bottled water with bling on it, you will be in heaven. They also give you bottles of just plain old Trump water gratis.

The one thing that horrified and literally pained me was the comfort level of the pull-out couch. Because I have traveled with teen-aged children and large groups,I have spent my fare share of time on fold-out couches. My own such beast, while uncomfy to sit on, is very comfy to sleep on. The fold-out couch at the Trump hotel was hands down the most uncomfortable thing I have ever slept on, including the bunk beds at camp. I guess they figure if you won't pay for a second room, there is absolutely no reason to even pretend they want you to be comfortable.

My friend had informed me that in the 2 days she had already been in the hotel, she had managed to take 3 showers. Upon entering her hotel room, I was immediately in lust with the bathroom. Marble, sunken tub, rain forest type shower head, TV in the mirror, subdued lighting that dimmed, thick towels, bathrobes, slippers, you get the idea. My friend went on to inform me that she had not bothered to take a shower in the room because she had opted to go to the spa instead.

OMG the spa! If you stay at the hotel, you are welcome to use the spa facilities gratis to include the pool, sauna, steam room, gym, and THE SHOWER EXPERIENCE. We splashed in the pool for just a few minutes and then headed to the spa. I started with the sauna while my friend had, "the shower experience". She had oohed and ahhed and gushed about the shower, but I was not quite convinced that I would need to become Trump rich to get one of these things installed in my house. And then, I entered. I entered into a world of pure shower joy! It was better then sex, more relaxing then a massage and more enjoyable then a hot fudge sunday! The shower heads from the ceiling give you the rain forest shower effect and the jets in the wall deliver a pulsing shower massage type experience that would make you deny your own mother! The lights change colors, the temperature rises and falls to heat and then cool you and the pulsing shower just makes you feel better.

Following what had to be about 15 minutes of pure guilt driven pleasure, I was able to make my own salt scrub/lotion/oil blend to take into the regular shower where I was able to give myself a good scrub and shampoo my hair. As I sat in my fluffy robe and comfy slippers, I thought to myself, "Self, you gotta get you one of these and you will never have to look for anything else again to be happy."

Now the work begins

The roomie is gone, as are all my crackers, cookies and once a year gingerbread pop-tarts. Now the real work begins as I start to sort, downsize, donate and discard what feels like a ton of crap. It is with great joy and trepidation that I begin my move to the farther North side. I am very much looking forward to new roommates and a steady contribution to the rent. Becky, with the exception of her cats (that was Miss Kitty chiming in), was the best roommate I had. She understood the concept of replacing the little things like toilet paper. I was more then willing to supply the paper towels, as some folks call that a luxury item, but come on, we are ALL using the toilet paper...I would hope.

If anyone can think of anything they might need, and have seen in my apartment, for heaven's sakes, just ask. I have craft stuff (Mariah?), I have a fax/copy/scanner, a wire shelving unit, a blender/food processor (Dean AND Tony have really good ones), you name it...so come on down and get it while you can!

Men and Kleenex

What is it with men and Kleenex? Why do most men refuse to blow their nose and instead snort and grunt like pigs in heat? I work in an enclosed area with up to 10 other people and there is nothing quite as disturbing to my productivity as the random snorting of someone whose parents failed to teach them to blow their nose or who failed to make their teachings stick.

Unlike the steady drip of a leaking faucet, the random snorts are like drive by gun fire. There is no telling when the next loud inhalation of copious amounts of phlegm will occur, so each blast catches one off guard. Some minorities appear to be less inclined to teach their children how to blow their noses. I have seen instances where a grown adult, given a tissue, will gently dab at their obviously dripping appendage and then proceed to snort loudly. I don't complain at first, I simply offer the offender a tissue and gently suggest they need to blow. If I didn't supply a tissue I would have no right to complain. One of the first things I do at a new project is to procure a box of Kleenex for the room, out of my own pocket if necessary, as I understand some people consider Kleenex a luxury item that is outside their normal budget.

Grown adults should know better. I blame the parents for this.

All things considered

All things considered, my parents are doing pretty damned good. I left for work on Monday and offered to come back but was told they would do ok. Mom seems to be in great spirits and said she did not need my help but appreciated the offer. I will be out there next weekend for Easter.

I cannot wait for the roomie to move out as the happy couple is annoying. I never see them, but the fact that I never know if they are here or not creeps me out. The fact that they have been nibbling away at my food irritates the hell out of me. My sugar free chocolate syrup appears to be awol. Considering I planned to try and make a cherry mocha for breakfast pissed me off. Anyone who knows me and loves me anyways knows that messing with my chocolate or coffee is not a safe or sane move!

Two Words...

Morphine drip. Mom bounced herself out of the hospital on Saturday, so the hospital played along and discharged her. She was sent home with an auto-drip pain med dispenser plugged into her chest. The machine purred like a cat and we both chuckled each time it went off. I called mom the other day, after the machine had run out and she had taken the tube out, and she seems to be doing very well, all things considered. Mom claims she is not in a great deal of pain, but after giving birth 7 times, her threshold for pain might be higher then normal.

Moving and bruising

The current roomie, who appears to have moved her "fiance" into her room, cannot move out soon enough! I never know if she is home and someone left 5 empty boxes of crackers in the pantry. Nuf said.

Mom goes in for surgery tomorrow, so happy thoughts. I will head out to Narnia, again, tomorrow and plan to stay as long as needed.

I am at the acupunturist as I type. It seems to be working, but I have to warn people that it is like finding a doctor or dentist. If it doesn't feel right, stop going and find someone you like and trust. I went to a local gal while in Naperville who gave me the heebie jeebies and didn't appear to listen to a word I said. I am back at the acupuntcure school where the treatments are free if you have a few hours to wait.

I am alive!

I love when your friends call to check on you to make sure you are still alive. Some call to keep in contact, some call to make sure things are going ok, and some just call wanting to know when I am cooking dinner at home again...LOL

For those who did not hear, dad was in the hospital last week and mom left for Rome on Friday. So, my original plans to just spend the weekend with dad getting him set up with meals for the week became an extended stay at camp grandma's. I arrived Friday after work and Miss Kitty joined us on Saturday. Mom is due home Saturday and I will go home for the week to come back next week after mom is out of surgery.

For those of you who asked, YES, it appears the acupuncture worked for the hot flashes!!! I had gone in twice a week for 2 weeks and then one treatment the following week. I was also given some herbs to take. About 2 weeks after my last treatment, the hot flashes started to come back with a vengeance. Anyone who says that hot flashes are just in your head or are, "Not a big deal" has never had a hot flash from HELL. I refer to them as debilitating and did not fully realize how much they bothered me until I was able to get them to go away for a few days.

I have decided that acupuncture is like massage or psychotherapy, it takes more then one dose and you have to keep going. I have also decided that acupuncture is like pain meds. You may not be fully aware that it is working, but you sure as hell know when it starts to wear off and the symptoms start to return!

Is it wrong?

I spent some time with mom and dad this weekend and during a discussion about mom's plans for surgery, it came out that the doctor who performed the biopsy told her it was so small he may have gotten the entire thing out while performing the biopsy. So, my thought is...if it was that small, and most of it is likely gone, if not all...at her age, should she even bother to have anything other then a lumpectomy? Apparently the doctors also informed her that her type of breast cancer was not the aggressive hereditary type, but may be more a function of age. With what I went through with my surgeries, my question is, is it wrong to possibly tell her to think about just letting it go???

Sleeping

It seems it comes and goes, and right now it comes. My hip pain that is. For a time, it seemed to be getting better. As of late, it appears to be regressing. It does not help that Miss Kitty likes to sleep on my hips at night. This may be in part for shared body heat and in part to avoid being rolled over on if she sleeps by my side.

I am working

My feet still hurt at the end of the day. My hips still hurt when I try to sleep on my side, more to follow, due to the amount of time I spent in a prone position. I am still totally, completely and utterly exhausted at the end of a long day, but I am working. I am glad to a) still be around to work, b) able to work, c) have a job to work at, and d) making enough to pay the rent by myself because apparently my roomie cannot be bothered....very heavy sigh!

Kidding, right??

The women's health clinic at the VA called me very concerned because I was wayyyyyyyy (yes, emphasis on way) long overdue for a pap smear......really? So the biopsy they did on my uteras a year and a half ago didn't count? My GP said the last thing he was worried about were the possible results from a pap smear. Evidently, that did not translate to his staff.

Again, whoever said that noone ever died from a hot flash obviously never had one. In researching the issue on the internet, it appears that acupuncture may be the answer. I am willing to try anything that doesn't involve taking more pills or vitamins.

Do I care too much?

Do I spend too much time worrying about my friends and their needs? Do I not spend enough time dealing with my own issues? A friend of mine did not show up for work again today making it two days in a row. I am not her mother or her keeper but I can't help worry about the fact she may get fired for this. She may have valid medical excuses or some other valid excuse, but why do I worry? I worry about my friends who have lost loved ones. I am working on getting my sister's baby shower under way (she is due in July!). I worry about things I think I should be doing for the board of directors for the Evanston Festival Theatre. I mull over the fact that I have not cooked dinner for any number of different friends over the past few weeks, yet it is not my job to feed them and they did not call me looking for a meal. I worried that Michael would have a great birthday even though he was living with his father and brother.

I guess I should worry less about others and maybe focus on me. Oh wait, I have wayyyyy too many self issues....it is safer looking outwards....LOL

Manis and pedis and hair, oh my!

I think that I am ()this close to being able to get a pedicure! No one can possibly imagine how much I want and need a pedicure! I KNOW, TMI! I have given up on the fingernails. My hair is doing its own thing right now but the curls are beginning to relax. I am seriously thinking about a haircut/trim!

Roommates

My attempts to adopt an older male cat to keep Miss Kitty company failed miserably this past weekend. He came, she saw, they screamed, he peed the couch, he went back!

My current roommate is quiet and seems to never be home. The only reason I have a roommate is to help pay the rent, although I have had roommates whose company I rather enjoyed.

I currently have two potential roommate options. The first is to move in with a friend who has a HUGE 3br/2bath apartment. The downside is that my rent would stay about the same. The upside is that I would have my own bathroom and great company.

The second option is the possibility of Rick moving here to split a place. The upside is that he is willing to clean and loves to cook. The down side is the tobacco use. I have to admit the spitting thing drives me insane.

Both options are very viable but one involves moving, another involves staying where I am and probably having the rent go up again, or is there a third option? What about finding a new place? The question could become that of one, two or three bedrooms?

He passed

Those who know me well will have heard me mention my friend Rick (McReynolds) more then once. His father, who was in the advanced stages of Parkinsons, has passed. I hope everyone will take a moment to send Rick positive vibes. My thoughts and prayers are with him.

On the same topic, it would seem I might have to think about the roomie situation. We had previously discussed his moving to Chicago, but only time will tell.

The update to the same old de ja vu

I spent part of the weekend in Naperville talking to mom. I realized on the train ride out there that I was going for reasons that were more selfish then giving. I needed to discuss this with her because the issue hit so close to home. I am glad I went and I believe she is glad I went as well.

The one thing that we discussed in detail was the fact that the doctor told her to go ahead and have the double mastectomy (so no chemo or rad.) and she would be back up and running around in a few weeks so she could have the surgery before she left for Rome. REALLY?? I explained that while the wounds might be closed up and the scars healing, if she was planning to go on vacation without anyone else to help, it was possible she wasn't going be able to carry her purse, let alone get her luggage out of overhead and carry it all over Rome! Vacation means shopping and how would she be able to carry all her tourist crap?

Thank you all for your words of support. It is what it is and we are all back down off the ledge of panic and fear. At least she had the decency to wait until I was done with all my treatments...LOL I keep telling her she might just be doing all this for the attention.

Unfortunately

This may not be the way my mom wants the world to find out, but her tests came back positive. My heart goes out to her and I offered to be there for her on Friday, when she meets with the doctors, but it seems she thinks I am a bit too...over the top? reactionary? like a freight train running a downhill slope? I have to say, as I ranted on to my sister, I guess I could see her point. Anyone who knows me, and loves me anyways, knows that I am...a "passionate" person. Yes, I am passionate. I just hope she knows I will be there to whatever degree she needs me to be AND I will throw in a prayer or two for her.

The huge things

After I finished posting yesterday it dawned on me that it appeared I had blown over the huge things by focusing on the little things. By huge things, I mean the people and things, that to me, made a huge difference in my life last year. Every single person who took me to or from chemo, or who took care of me over a chemo weekend, that was HUGE in my book. My sister Amy was my angel without whom I would not have been able to do anything last year. It reminds me of that footprints on the sand story and trust me, hers were the primary footsteps. I really do now know what I would have done without her help. I felt like I left things unsaid because those who were there with me knew that they had my undying gratitude. It took a village to raise this idiot.

The technology ledge and the little things

I started my day yesterday by stepping back off the crackberry ledge and pulling my head out of my butt. For anyone who knows me well, and loves me anyways, they know I am not allowed to buy technology without adult supervision. Ian needed a new phone because his was broken. I wanted a new phone so I could access my email when I am out and about because the temp world is getting over crowded and I need to be able to respond to job offers much more quickly then I could in the past.

I started with the idea in mind that I needed a phone without a camera. Cameras are not allowed in the courtroom but I quickly realized I may be the only lawyer on the planet actually paying attention to that rule. Also, if I am at a courthouse that won't let my phone in, I drove there and I can leave it in the car. I was talked into buying a crackberry with the understanding that I could do so many things I would soon be addicted.

Wrong answer keebler! Giving me a crackberry was the equivalent of giving a newly licensed driver the keys to a semi truck and telling them to figure it out. I knew I was in wayyyyy over my head the second I left that store. Long story short, I spent hours trying to figure it out and only managed to figure out that I needed a different phone. I have a new phone with bells and whistles and I am figuring it out much faster then I had hoped. I even figured out how to download an app for that, if only I could figure out how to launch the app.

Yesterday, after straightening up the cell phone debacle in a record 1.5 hours (I brought the guy at the store a hot cocoa from Starbucks and told him to settle in for a long and bumpy ride), I picked up a few things at the store and settled in for a long veg on the couch. I came to realize that for the new year I was truly grateful for the little things and the people that do them. Just a few things that came to mind were:

My roommate cleaning the house and emptying the dishwasher for me when I was too busy between work and Ian.
Nikka for letting me use her car to accomplish things I need to go someplace to get it done.
Becky for showing me that you can rough chop your veggies for a soup and then make it creamy by simply putting it in the food processor instead of fine chopping the veggies and adding cream.
My brother Tom for giving even when he may not be able to afford it.
My dear friend Robert for being willing to take a spare set of keys (that came in uber handy when Ian took my set home to Texas).
My friend JW texting or calling out of the blue just to check up on me, although the texts may come early and I still have trouble turning off the text notification.
Ian for telling me that no matter what crap his dad says about me, he won't believe it.

Stuff like this may seem small but means the world to me.

It's a new one!

I read somewhere that almost half, if not more, of a group of people who were polled said that this past year was by far the worst year in a long time. With unemployment rates skyrocketing, homes being foreclosed in huge numbers and the economy tanking the way it did, it is a wonder anyone who did not formerly have billions in the bank survived to tell the tale.

As we ALL know, this past year for me was a bad year, medically speaking. Technically it all began in '08, but the vast majority of my medical issues consumed 2009. With that said, I am still thankful to be alive, glad I got the girls reduced and happy to have lost a few pounds. I am not happy about the whole hair thing, but it is saving me TONS on haircare and maintenance. (Yes folks, still riding that gravy train!)

I am happy to report I am starting the new year with a new phone and a temp gig that should last at least a day or two into the new year. It is always nice to go into a new year with a pending paycheck!

The bad news, or alternatively, the other shoe, is the fact that my mother is awaiting the results of her needle biopsy. They found a small lump in her breast and she had the biopsy on Wednesday. Because of the holiday, she will not have her results until Monday, at the earliest. The good news is that neither her mammogram nor her biopsy were so clearly definitive that performing the actual lab analysis were merely part of the protocol. In my case, even I could tell from the mammo and the biopsy results that my news was bad right away. The lump was obvious to a legally blind person on the mammogram and the lab tech told me that while healthy cells are pink and float, cancer cells are white and sink. I was immediately informed that I had, "...a lot of sinkers".

I had described in detail what they do for the "needle biopsy" (NEEDLE MY ASS) and how it was more like a rotorooter. Those who read the post regarding this whole nightmare are fully aware that this was a highly disturbing thing to endure. My mother said that my recitation of the facts and issues, in addition to a graphic description of the procedure, were spot on and she actually found herself chuckling through the procedure. The lab tech said my description of the thing as a rotorooter was the best she had heard.

Let's all be thankful we pulled out of the last year in reasonably good shape and keep my mom in your thoughts and prayers. NOONE should have to go through this.